On Telling Others
by, 03-Feb-2008 at 20:58 (704 Views)
I figure this "study" of mine may be something I want archived under my name in a blog here. So I'm quoting directly from the original thread it was posted in. If you're interested in the context behind the thread, you can find that here.
Anyway, to the "study"...
Disclaimer: Despite the content of this article Yawgmoth does not actually endorse or support actually telling anyone about your fetishes. It is Yawgmoth’s paranoid belief that, regardless of the above supporting data, that it would be foolish to tell someone such sensitive information for reasons that are too many to list. Yawgmoth claims no responsibility for any lives ruined or damaged by telling someone your fetish(s). Yawgmoth will, however, take responsibility for any successes as a result of telling someone; in fact if any of you guys tell your girlfriend and get her to do anything ABDL related with you, you can repay Yawgmoth by letting him have a “go” with her. ^_^
This topic actually reminds me of a topic of conversation that I was discussing among my friends in the community. The topic stemmed from a friend of mine, which I’ve known in the community for several years now, telling me that he is considering telling his girlfriend about this little “pastime”. So the question raised was: What is the likelihood of her receiving it well vs. receiving it negatively?
So with the question raised, I contemplated over it for a few hours and consulted the opinions of several other friends on my “Community” Buddy-List. After getting several opinions, and comparing them to my own, I came up with a theory. “A person’s response to finding out fetish information is directly related to how they found out about it.” Allow me to explain…
My community friend, let’s call him John for simplicity sake, has told two people about this fetish in his lifetime. Each time he’s told someone he did so in a level headed, reasonable, fashion within conversational context (Note: “conversational context” means that him and his lady friend were already talking about intimate things, such as what “turns them on”). Not surprisingly, both girls that he’s told received it well, with acceptance, and even were curious enough to ask more questions about it. To this day John has no reported negative consequences from telling them.
While asking another friend about this topic, let’s call him Mike, I was told his story of telling friends. Mike, being a person of incredible testicular fortitude, would occasionally wear his diapers while hanging out with his friends; at the time, the friends were ignorant of what he was wearing. Well, for some reason Mike decided one day that he’d tell his friends, and so he did. Although I don’t know what context he brought it up in, according to Mike the friends took it well and were not disturbed by it at all.
Throughout three more conversations similar to the two above I was unable to find a single account of someone telling friends/significant-others resulting in a negative response. The other three people I asked told similar success stories; believe it or not two of those three are females in the community, one of which told her other female friend and the other told her group of male friends. It is my theory, from the above observations, that when you personally tell someone that it subconsciously gets interpreted that you have no shame over it. If you convey no embarrassment, shame, discomfort, etc…about doing something then the individual(s) that you told has nothing to think negatively of you about.
On the other hand, take a typical crappy diaper story where some teenager wears diapers for some reason, tries to hide it, and gets caught. When people see someone ashamed of what they’re doing, trying to hide it, then getting caught on someone else’s (other than their own) accord it’d a given that others will find fault in it and receive it in a way that you most likely won’t like. To put it simply, information that is taken rather than given is much more likely to be used as “ammo” against you.
Now keep in mind that in no way am I saying to go out and flaunt this fetish. We’ve all seen the horrific ABs on the news that go out in public dressed in the full baby outfit. There’s a line between telling someone with tact and telling the world like a bumbling idiot. Please, for the sake of everyone, don’t become someone like the folk that “represented” us on Jerry Springer. I’m just saying that if you decide to tell someone, use common sense and tact. For example, it most likely wouldn’t be too prudent to wear a used diaper while telling someone all this.
As a small update to my last post in this thread, I’d like to say that the other night I received a message from “John” informing me of a devlopment in his current relationship with a girl. This girl, let’s call her Betty-Sue, decided that she’d indulge his fantasy for valentines day. Natural curiosity got ahold of me at this point and I inquired as to what sheand him intend to do. Sadly for all of you, however, I don’t feel as though it’d be right of me to inform you all of John’s and Betty-Sue’s intimate plans. To put it short, it seems as though on Valentines Day, John will be, as he put it, “Living the dream.”
I would like to kindly disagree with this statement. I don't believe that it's necessary to be in a "100% trust zone" to tell someone. for the reasons stated in my above post, if you tell someone with confidence and without shame then it's my conclusion (supported by reports of others) that they will respect that courage.Totally has to be in the 100% trust level area, and still, it's all up to how she takes things that are out of the "norm" for her, watch her for a bit and see how she takes "weird-well, to her, weird" stuff and go from there.
However, I think it's important to differentiate between being "accepted" and being "indulged"; often times people will blur, or even erase, the line between the two. In all of my "studies" very few actually end up with the person they told actually participating in this fetish's content. All of them did accept it however. It's important to draw that line distinctly, as someone's acceptance can often times dwindle away if they're being pressured to participate in it when not wanting to.