Paranoia is a funny thing..my first blog post
by, 01-Aug-2011 at 02:18 (605 Views)
I took my fiance to meet my family in another state this past week. It was a ten hour drive.
Keep in mind a few things before I get to my paranoia. 1. My fiance knows I wear diapers because of urge incontinence. 2. I wear typically baggy clothing to cover the bulge.
Now, my honest fiance says that my suit for a dinner is not attractive, so she and my mother take me to a store to get "better fitting clothes" They take me and I am wearing a wet dry24/7. The thing is bulging no matter what I do, and they force me to try on suit pants... My mother keeps commenting that there is a pillowy effect in the crotch, the pants must be too big. As I am in the dressing room, pulling up my bicycle shorts up to my chest to try and flatten the diaper I hear my fiance talking with my mom and i think I hear them talking about my diapers. I am mortified, particularly because I am pretty sure it is obvious to anyone that I am wearing a diaper.
To make matters worse I hear my dad and mom speaking in another room the next day. My dad says to my mother there are diapers that are almost invisible under clothing, and my mind leads me to him reasoning I am wearing a large diaper (which I am). I know I cannot change freely there so I wore diapers I knew I could wear for long periods until I have privacy.
Now to the part where this might be just paranoia. 1. My fiance insists that not only did she not mention anything to my mom, the last place she would talk about it is in public at a department store changing room. 2. My uncle just had a prostectomy for his prostate cancer (He is fine, thank God) and he is incontinent now as a result, so it is possible my dad was talking about him.
This puts me in a pickle. My parents do not know I am incontinent. I do not want them to know, though I suspect that have guessed that I wear diapers. My dad is a big mouth and his best friend is a doctor of infectious diseases. The last thing I want is to revisit more this embarrassing part of myself with them. My fiance knows and that is all who I want to know. So I have been dreading calling my parents to talk to them by myself because I know they would never bring it up as long as I am with someone...
They might never bring it up, which would be fine, but I simply do NOT want to talk about this part of me with them, even though they would be supportive in the end. I just know they would want to get involved, to pry, to ask, and bother as they show their concern. I will have to bite the bullet soon I suppose. It would just be nice if, at almost 30, my parents can respect my privacy and not ask me embarrassing questions about something that I have not willingly volunteered to them.
Still... fun week. I got to sleep in the bed with my fiance while visiting (something we won't do again till we're married), and though she was under the covers and I was on the other side with a separate blanket on top of her quilt (I am a prude and thought it not a good idea for both of us to be under the covers) I was wearing my diapers under my pajamas and she said not a word. I am so happy to have such a supportive fiance. And my family all love her.
This is my first blog... I will try to keep up with it