by, 15-May-2011 at 13:49 (612 Views)
This is partly adapted from my first introduction - but I thought I might as well share a proper "history of me" post!
As far back as age 10/11, I remember having a teddy bear that I'd dressed in a nappy (my mum was a childminder so had some supplies), and then I tried to fit it on me as well, and it felt good. At this point, I also had my first real sexual awakening - I don't remember if the nappies were involved though...
I don't think I thought about it again for a few years, but when I was 14/15, I had a dream that I was staying over at a friend's house, and he got nappies for us to wear. I remember waking up, and thinking that I'd like that in real life. Ever since then, I've had the urges to wear. I made the mistake of telling my Mother, who then questioned whether I was still having urges for a few weeks after... cue embarrassed "nope all good" excuses.
Once I had access to the Internet, I'd spend nights on my brother's PC (damn AOL dialup), looking to see if there was other people like me, and finding very little. I think I might have found DPF at one point, and that was about it. I went through up to GCSEs without really knowing much, just lurking on sites reading what were probably simple fap stories.
Then, once A-Levels began, and I had Internet access on my own computer, I'd search more about it all, and found that adult nappies existed, and that I might be DL. Again, a lot of this time was just surfing the Internet, watching videos of people being changed, and occasionally making a makeshift nappy out of a towel to wear to bed.
When I was 17, I found that Attends were giving samples out, and I risked getting one posted to my home. After trying it on, I was in heaven, and wore it to bed. Unfortunately, I'd had a lot to drink before bed, so woke in the middle of the night bursting for a wee, so took the nappy off and used it. I then felt so ashamed, that I went months trying not to think about it.
I then got another sample sent when feelings came back, but they were the new Attends - almost belted, and didn't feel like proper nappies. I again felt a load of shame, and within the day they arrived, had chucked them in the bin. Also, my mother had been asking about the package - I almost told her, but she luckily volunteered an "is it condoms" get out free clause!
I then started uni, and for the first year, didn't even think about nappies. Due to stress and a new situation I guess... Once I settled down, the urges came back in my second year and I found ADISC. Once I joined I learnt all the secrets of the trade, and brands to search for and buy... and haven't looked back!
As for why I am what I am - I have no solid evidence... I know when I was in nursery school a member of staff accused me of having an accident - and I was so ashamed they'd even suggest it; I was a "big boy" who used the toilet! I also know I was under a lot of pressure to be a high achiever and not let my parents down - they always claim I was born a mature old man! So I expect there is a lost childhood there... Oh and my Mother was a childminder for a lot of my childhood, so I was always around babies/toddlers wearing nappies!