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Ronbeast

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I figured this might be a "blog worthy" story..

Ya see, apparently I am quite the established vandal. That is, in the sense that I am able to turn into four people and I can drive the getaway car while I am desecrating an old buffoons property.

Here's how the story goes...

About supper time yesterday, I was getting ready to go hang out with my girlfriend and all of my good buddies. Nothing unusual. Then the phone rang. The dialogue went like this :

Me: "Hello?"

Man: "Is this *insert my fathers name here*?

Me: Well, this is his son.

Man: "Ahh, just the man I was looking for. Do you drive a silver PT cruiser?"

Me: "Yes, well my family owns one. why do you ask?"

Man: "I have you on video tape, vandalizing my property. I know it was you, we have your face on camera and we have the plate number for your car."

Me: " well, alright then. What's the plate number? I'll confirm whether or not my car was the one in question."

*At this point the man became more aggressive, I knew he was drunk the minute I picked up the phone.*

Man: "I'm not giving you the plate number, I'm going straight to the cops."

Me: " Alright, well I'm going to have to get my father to call you back."

End dialogue.

See what I have to deal with in this town? When drunken assholes have as much of a good reputation as the average teen.

Anyways, I went out and got drunk with my friends. Perfect night.
During the night my father called me, so I stepped outside and had a conversation with him. My dad is more persuasive than I am and he managed to squeeze some evidence from between this drunken idiots teeth.

The first bit of evidence, The video was taken on Sunday. Kinda funny, considering I wasn't even home until Tuesday.

The second bit of evidence, I was never on camera. While they may have a camera setup in the business, The only reason they knew someone was vandalizing the business was the fact that the mans son was walking by at the time and spotted the people doing the damage. The person was driving a silver PT cruiser and there are very few of those in the area.

The third piece of evidence, I don't drive the PT cruiser. It was given to us by my pop and I would like to keep it in very good condition for years to come. I'd rather drive our other cars.

So, there are some idiots in this area. They tend to target my family. Kinda weird considering something similar happened to my cousin just a few months ago. I'm not a violent person by any means, but I genuinely want to kick this assholes teeth in.

Anyways, thanks for reading. I'm gonna go press charges for verbal threats. I'm not looking for cash. I'm looking for a formal apology in the newspaper.

-Ron
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  1. cweezy928's Avatar
    But think about it wouldn't it be grand to be able to be 4 people at once? The cops in my town seem a lot like the guy who your having problems with. I remember one day back in middle school, me and my two best friends at the time Josh and Geoff were walking back to Geoff's house after visiting a friend of ours who lived near the middle school. I was about a 40 minute walk and it was hotter than Emma Stone outside so we cut through the parking lot of a dog day care that was close to Geoff's house to save 10 minutes of walking. The yard that the dogs are in was empty and so was the parking lot so we assumed it was closed. But I guess someone was inside taking care of boarding dogs, well they called the cops because apparently someone threw bricks through their windows and just because we cut through the parking lot we were the ones that did it. The cop were so ignorant he started saying crap like we were on video, and that people had seen us throw the brick, it just didn't make any sense because Geoff lived in view of the day care and we were outside A LOT, if they were so convinced it was us why did they wait until we passed through the parking lot?
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