Has anybody else experienced something like this?
by, 26-Apr-2011 at 22:24 (453 Views)
I recently had a series of misunderstandings today, mostly on my part. It annoyed some other people, but I did learn from the experience, and I really did not do anything with the intent to annoy them, I really was just confused.
What happened was something this simple - I signed up to join an XBox live gaming session, and when I got the invite to join 45 minutes earlier, the time on the invite was the time on the other side of the world, so I said, "No can do," because I did not think it was the same session. That pissed the guy off. Then I explained everything, did not hear from him, and I assumed he had given up on me and went on. Then I went back to my XBox and realized that he sent me an invite about 45 minutes later, and I did not get that invite until ten minutes after he sent it because I assumed he had given up on me, so I had given up on him and did other things with my XBox still turned on. I joined the party, only to be told to "fuck off", so I did fuck off and leave the party.
Yeah, this is completely my fault, but I did nothing intentional. I just have no functional brain today.
Even knowing that anybody could have made the same mistakes I did, even knowing that nothing I did resulted in any permanent damage, even knowing that the people in that party have probably forgotten all about me and my misunderstandings by now, I feel myself spiraling downwards into a pit of self-hatred. Even though I know that this whole spiraling downwards into self-hatred is bullshit and that I have no real reason to be doing that, my logic and my emotional core are really not working hand-in-hand right now. It just is what it is, and I know it is because I am taking myself too damn seriously, putting way too much importance on myself where it is not warranted. I need to snap the fuck out of this, seriously.