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Kinky Kapers of Kaworu!

Has anybody else experienced something like this?

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I recently had a series of misunderstandings today, mostly on my part. It annoyed some other people, but I did learn from the experience, and I really did not do anything with the intent to annoy them, I really was just confused.

What happened was something this simple - I signed up to join an XBox live gaming session, and when I got the invite to join 45 minutes earlier, the time on the invite was the time on the other side of the world, so I said, "No can do," because I did not think it was the same session. That pissed the guy off. Then I explained everything, did not hear from him, and I assumed he had given up on me and went on. Then I went back to my XBox and realized that he sent me an invite about 45 minutes later, and I did not get that invite until ten minutes after he sent it because I assumed he had given up on me, so I had given up on him and did other things with my XBox still turned on. I joined the party, only to be told to "fuck off", so I did fuck off and leave the party.

Yeah, this is completely my fault, but I did nothing intentional. I just have no functional brain today.

Even knowing that anybody could have made the same mistakes I did, even knowing that nothing I did resulted in any permanent damage, even knowing that the people in that party have probably forgotten all about me and my misunderstandings by now, I feel myself spiraling downwards into a pit of self-hatred. Even though I know that this whole spiraling downwards into self-hatred is bullshit and that I have no real reason to be doing that, my logic and my emotional core are really not working hand-in-hand right now. It just is what it is, and I know it is because I am taking myself too damn seriously, putting way too much importance on myself where it is not warranted. I need to snap the fuck out of this, seriously.
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Comments

  1. Gaius's Avatar
    Bleh, I hate misunderstandings! I was once at a school astronomy-type function, and I cracked a sarcastic joke about the sun being the center of the solar system. I guess since I was young, the woman heading up the event thought I was just dumb, not funny, because she gave me a "Go back to your farm, boy" look and told me why I was wrong. And then for the next few days, I beat myself up over it.

    I'd advise you not to worry about it, but you already realize this and are probably trying. Don't let life's silly little things get you too upset, it's all survivable.
  2. whitefox's Avatar
    I know how the latter part feels. The way I thought of it was that I was basically enjoying being depressed. Almost like I didn't want to be happy. It doesn't sound like a good thing, and at the time I knew it was not good, but it wasn't something I could just think myself out of. It was a conflict between emotions and reasoning, and emotions were winning by a long shot.

    Maybe that's completely unrelated to how you feel, though. I've had misunderstandings like the one you've described as well; felt like a total jackass afterwards too. Sorry to hear about it. :/
  3. KaworuVsDrWily's Avatar
    Yeah, I'm over it now. I guess I should stop worrying about things when there is nothing I really can do about them. This was a learning experience, though.
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