I came out to my parents yesterday (about my sexuality) by letter. I emailed it to them, and went to the mall for the day with my friends.
Here's the message:
Dear mom and dad,
At home, I no longer feel any other emotion besides anxiety. I fill the neutral spaces in with fabricated emotion. I'm not sure what causes this lack of feeling. All of my responses are generic and automated. I am not a quiet person outside of home. I never know what to say, or how to say it at home. I couldn't bring this up face to face for these reasons, and have decided that a letter is best. The thing that I would like you to know is that I am a homosexual. I have been studying your reactions to homosexuality over the past 3-4 years and honestly, I'm worried you won't fully accept me. Because of this unsureness, I was not able to estimate your possible reactions, or predict the emotions you would feel.
I started to notice that I was different from my friends in the sixth grade, when I was eleven years old. Our sexualities were developing in different ways. At first I tried my best to blend in with them, making fun of Jack _____, terrorizing the school and generally being an asshole with Danny _______. By seventh grade they were able to see through my fake skater persona. They started directing their homophobic comments and insults towards me. In an attempt to blend in with the “normal” kids and dodge their insults, I went out with Caroline in the eighth grade. If you remember correctly, we never actually did anything, we didn't even hang out during that period. Neither of us were interested. That hollow relationship ended quicker than it started, and we moved on to high school.
By high school, I became more accepting of myself, because I didn't have to hide from my old friends, they were all sent to private school. I accepted my interests as bisexuality, but still didn't tell anybody. I tried my best to be interested in girls and feared being a homosexual. I was still somewhat confused in the ninth grade. In tenth grade, I was asked to go out with Lauren ______ by her friend because she was depressed, and had a crush on me. Being the nice person I was, I couldn't let her live in pain, and went along with it. The same thing happened with her that happened with Caroline. I completely lacked interest, and never even hung out with her outside of school.
The real reason Carlin kicked me in the knee was because I hadn't kissed Lauren in the month that we had been going out. She begged for it, but I could not bring myself to touch lips with her. I did deserved something for leading her on for so long, but not what I got.
I came to terms with my homosexuality by the end of tenth grade, realizing that I was only interested in boys, and not girls. I shared this information with Caroline, Tiffany, Megan, James, and Amanda. They are the greatest friends I could have asked for, and supported me along the path of self discovery. I have been out of the closet at school since January 2011, and am happy I did so.
I am still the same son you've always had, you just know more about me now. You needed to know eventually. I expect you may need time to accept me, the way I needed time to accept myself, and come out to you. To avoid the initial shock, I left the house for the day.
-Love, your son, Chris
I came home, and they were all very accepting and told me the only thing they're worried about is me getting hurt by somebody.
They did ask some weird questions...
"So, are you like, aroused by boys?" -Dad. "Well, that's what gay means" -Me.
"So have Nikolai and you....." -Dad. "No. No. Not at all...." -Me. (Nikolai is my friend...)
"I'm not aroused by all boys, like you're not aroused by all women" -Me. "Well, I am aroused by all women..." -Dad.