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Mommy is Gone.

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On Wednesday this week Mommy made the decision to leave Australia and go back to the United States. I cannot be angry with her for wanting to leave me. After all I can be a naughty little girl. But I just wanted to have someone who never got angry at me. Who would spank me when I started to run the house and would hold me. Telling me that its ok and that I'm safe and loved.

I made myself a promise at LAX international airport when we got taken away from each other for the first time and that was that I wouldn't let it happen again and that if it did happen again there would not be a third time. I want to give up now on even trying as I can't handle this constant separation thing. I can't live this way.

I just don't know what to do. I miss being in her arms so much and would do almost anything to be back there again. But is that probable? is that even possible?

I tried killing myself on Wednesday. I thought that being dead would be an easier solution to how I was feeling. I wouldn't have to say goodbye to her, wouldn't have to watch her pack. There wouldn't be the pain that there is now. I don't know what I am supposed to do. I guess I'll do whatever my mommy tells me. She hasn't been in contact with me since the plane left probably because its not there yet. I miss her so much. I hope she's not in the hospital yet because she needs to be under her medical coverage.I just wish I was dead right now. I wish I had succeeded.


  1. Pojo's Avatar
    Aw...I'm not going to offer support, since I don't know what you are going through...But I hope you don't kill yourself...It won't solve anything... - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.