Mommy is Gone.
by, 13-Jun-2008 at 03:08 (612 Views)
On Wednesday this week Mommy made the decision to leave Australia and go back to the United States. I cannot be angry with her for wanting to leave me. After all I can be a naughty little girl. But I just wanted to have someone who never got angry at me. Who would spank me when I started to run the house and would hold me. Telling me that its ok and that I'm safe and loved.
I made myself a promise at LAX international airport when we got taken away from each other for the first time and that was that I wouldn't let it happen again and that if it did happen again there would not be a third time. I want to give up now on even trying as I can't handle this constant separation thing. I can't live this way.
I just don't know what to do. I miss being in her arms so much and would do almost anything to be back there again. But is that probable? is that even possible?
I tried killing myself on Wednesday. I thought that being dead would be an easier solution to how I was feeling. I wouldn't have to say goodbye to her, wouldn't have to watch her pack. There wouldn't be the pain that there is now. I don't know what I am supposed to do. I guess I'll do whatever my mommy tells me. She hasn't been in contact with me since the plane left probably because its not there yet. I miss her so much. I hope she's not in the hospital yet because she needs to be under her medical coverage.I just wish I was dead right now. I wish I had succeeded.