My newbie blog entry
by, 15-Jan-2011 at 01:10 (408 Views)
Hello there. I'm new here. Here's my intro thread: http://www.adisc.org/forum/greetings...tml#post543497
I've known I've been AB all of my life. But it's always been an extremely private thing for me. I grew up not knowing that there were other people that felt as I do. I guess I probably thought that other people with my interests existed. But since I've never known anyone else like me, and didn't see anyway I ever could, I never really thought it would be possible to talk about it.
I did not explore for my feelings online for a long time. At first, I was afraid to browse for anything because my parents monitored my internet history. I was afraid that they'd find out and I didn't know how to explain it to them.
I probably found out about diaper fetishism sites in my early 20's. However, I've never felt a great need or desire to dig around through those sites. Firstly, I felt kinda guilty about doing it. Secondly, most sites seemed scary to me since they tend to be "over the top" and very sexually driven about it all. I thought those were the only kind of sites there were. My AB side has always been my "safe place" and it's a very tender subject; so I never thought there was much to interest me online.
An exception to that was BitterGrey's Understanding Infantilism page. I was impressed by the mature and rational tone he took about the subject. I really like how he tries to help people come to grips with what it means and the morality of it. However, I'd already been though most of my personal religious morality-searching with my AB feelings before I discovered it.
When I was browsing around about a year ago, I visited BitterGrey's page again. I noticed the ADISC link there and clicked it. That's how I found out about ADISC. After casually visiting ADISC for over half a year, I finally worked up the courage to join.
I joined ADISC on New Year's Day this year. Yes, it was a resolution. Several users posted on my thread and I posted on other intro threads. People seemed to like my intro. HogansHeroes like it and became my first ADISC friend. Thank you Hogan. ^_^
Since joining, I've been digging though the site and reading a lot of good stuff here. In fact, so many topics have been covered that I'm afraid anything I might want to ask would make a duplicate thread. I'm not quite sure what to do.
Also, I've been reading about all kinds of fun things people are ordering off the internet. I've always been afraid to do that. I'm just about to the point where I can't stand it anymore, though lol.
It's a bit depressing to see that many users here are younger than I am. I wish I'd known about this kind of thing and had the courage to open up sooner. Still, I hope that I can make some friends and learn to become more comfortable expressing this side of myself.