by, 26-Dec-2010 at 22:56 (295 Views)
.....the thought of returning to drinking did occur to me today.
But I realized it probably would be more painless to just sever the diseased ties in my life instead.
My mother left a couple of messages on my voice mail today. I deleted them without even listening to them. She has nothing to say that I am willing to hear. She had 31 years to try to build a decent relationship with me - instead, she proved yesterday that violating my boundaries is a lot of fun for her. I do not need people like that in my life.
And the AA people who have decided to turn nasty over the holidays and take it out on me because they chose to get drunk? Fuck 'em. I'll sever those ties, too.
It probably would be easier for me just to change my phone number and only give the new number out to the few people I still trust.
I am exhausted of my family getting pleasure at my expense, and I am disappointed in mankind in general. But abusing myself is no way to respond to any of that.
I apologize to the people who saw the blog post I made three hours ago (and later deleted). A long talk with my AA sponsor helped me to clear the fog that was in my head at that time. I have to make some tough decisions in my life right now, and none of them will be completely painless.