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Kinky Kapers of Kaworu!

Y'know......

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.....the thought of returning to drinking did occur to me today.

But I realized it probably would be more painless to just sever the diseased ties in my life instead.

My mother left a couple of messages on my voice mail today. I deleted them without even listening to them. She has nothing to say that I am willing to hear. She had 31 years to try to build a decent relationship with me - instead, she proved yesterday that violating my boundaries is a lot of fun for her. I do not need people like that in my life.

And the AA people who have decided to turn nasty over the holidays and take it out on me because they chose to get drunk? Fuck 'em. I'll sever those ties, too.

It probably would be easier for me just to change my phone number and only give the new number out to the few people I still trust.

I am exhausted of my family getting pleasure at my expense, and I am disappointed in mankind in general. But abusing myself is no way to respond to any of that.

I apologize to the people who saw the blog post I made three hours ago (and later deleted). A long talk with my AA sponsor helped me to clear the fog that was in my head at that time. I have to make some tough decisions in my life right now, and none of them will be completely painless.
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  1. Near's Avatar
    I'm happy to see that the situation wasn't quite as dramatic as your last blog post implied.

    I think you're taking some good decisions right now. From the description you gave us, your family is at best uncomfortable (and at worst batshit insane). If you think that cutting ties with certain (or all) family members, along with a few of your friends, will help you, then its something you have to do for your own sake.

    Good luck, both with avoiding a return to drinking and in sorting out which relationships are worth keeping. You're right, it won't be painless, but hopefully it will be worth it.
  2. LittleHanah's Avatar
    Im happy you chose not to hurt yourself. That takes strength. And as I myself being one of those people who always ends up and accepts being a doormat..

    Its nice to see someone who says no, and decides thhey are better than all that Thats the best thing a person can do for themselves.
    Your a strong person
  3. Sniuggledingo's Avatar
    yes he is a strong person littlehanah, one of the strongest people i know.
    and your family i am mad at mainly because they are treating you like this, it is never right.
    and i am also glad that your sponsor was there to help you out and remember your friends here will help you out too kaworu. you are strong Kaworu don't let anyone tell you different
    *hugs* tight
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