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Corri

Long winded.. depressing confused rant ahead.

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I've been getting upset easily lately...
I dunno if its because of what happened this time last year.. or I just feel insanely guilty.
I feel guilty that friend is depressed... I feel like its my fault..
I feel that, I'm not doing enough for people.... and I kinda feel like a disappointment. I mean.. yeah... I am..
every chance I've gotten to do something... to make things right... I shit on it. I mean.. hell I got skipped a year in school..I totally blew it, I missed 70 days of school... Thats 1/2 of the year
Gr... I mean... yeah.... i had some depression issues, my stepmother getting cancer, friends dying, friends trying to die... family....
Still, thats no excuse to slack off... I don't know if this has just been drilled into my head by my lovely parentals who blame the world on my generation, or are too blind to see what is going on.
I also feel guilty for being mad...
I am still angry with my parents... very... but I don't know if its right to be. Yes I'm in an abusive situation... Or is it not and I just think that?
I have no idea...
Yes I got my glasses now,still no braces, and still no leg surgery to fix this damn nerve damage (which is reversible... or was)

I'm also kind of confused about what is right...

Do I run away from this place next year... or... stay.. and watch my family that used to be tighter then an ant's asshole, fold in on itself and take me with it?
I mean..... is it worth sticking around and trying to change them...?

Then theres my career... I am not trying to be coincided but damn...
everything comes easy to me.. I can do any thing...
But, I cant decide..
I want to peruse art... to expensive, not allot of openings...
Psychology, I might not like it and end up blowing my credit for grad loans...

etc...
get my drift?



ah, but...
Onnne more thing.
I've learned a lot this year, most of it thanks to you guys...

But big big estra speshul thanks to... Baby_Blake, Zyph, Peachy, mm3, Martin, and unfused...
You guys kept me alive... thanks
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