I Honestly Have No Idea
by, 19-Nov-2010 at 02:41 (485 Views)
I have no idea how I should be feeling right now.
I revisited my high school today, to help out my former band section with their audition pieces. Well, it certainly put a few things in perspective for me.
First of all, I played flute in band for seven years, and I wanted to go on to major in music. But my college plans got changed halfway through the summer, and I have to attend a sucky community college because my parents just decided "We're not going to help you at all." WTF? I cannot drive because you won't let me get a license. I cannot get a job because I cannot drive. Therefore, I cannot afford anything. What am I supposed to do?!
August really sucked? Why? Because people from my graduating class had started posting pictures of THEIR college lives. Of how they were enjoying their independence. Of everyone new that they had come to meet. And where am I? In my *insert expletive here* hometown that I have lived all 18, soon to be 19 in less than a month, years of my life. I had always hated living with my parents; they had made life a living Hell for me. I was very much looking forward to leaving it all behind when suddenly, it gets taken away. I had always lacked the confidence in myself to feel that I could do anything right. I was very much looking forward to change.
My first quarter ended on Tuesday, though. I should be happy, but... I'm not. I don't have any idea what is wrong with me, but I'm tired of feeling like this. That's really all I know to say at this point.