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matt1989

My cousin is adopted

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My cousin cam to me to day upset because she found out that she is adopted. she whas upset because my ant what ed this long to tall her that. My cousin is 20.
I told her that it OK that she is still apart of or family and that she is still my favorite cousin. I thank that made her fill a little batter.


I got to ask win is the rite time to tall a kid that Thar adopted?
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  1. matt1989's Avatar
    sorry about my bad spelling I am working on it I am tacking a class so please do not nag rep me about it
  2. Mukirr's Avatar
    I'd say that it'd be when you think that they're ready to handle it. If they don't ask themselves, then that age would probably be around 16 or 18. If they DO ask, then RIGHT when they do. If they're capable of determining for some reason, that they don't fit with the family, then they should be told why.
  3. matt1989's Avatar
    well she all whas fitted in with the family I didn't know that she whas adopted of course I whas 1 years old win she cam in the pitcher. she whas a newborn win she cam in the family.
  4. crazykittensmile's Avatar
    Personally I think you should tell a child they're adopted as soon as they are old enough to understand - As soon as my child asked where babies come from I would explain how reproduction works, and then explain that they were special because they grew in another ladies tummy, and she kindly gave the child to us (me and imaginary partner) because we really wanted a child of our own to love. I would explain that that I love them just as much as if they'd grown in my tummy, and that I was there if they ever had any questions. I would never deceive my child into thinking I was their biological mother if I wasn't. I have two friends and a cousin who are all adopted, and they have all known their whole lives. I have talked about adoption with my two friends (my cousin is only 8 so it's not really come up in conversation) and both of them are very comfortable with who they are and with the families they see very much as their own.

    I think springing something like the fact you're adopted on somebody when they are a teen or older is only going to make them feel confused with regards to their identity and full of unanswered questions. If it's something that they've always known about, and which has never really been a big deal, then it is what it is and, I think, would be much less likely to cause them confusion or upset.
  5. matt1989's Avatar
    ya I think what she needs rite now is to be reminded that she is a member of or family no mater wear she cam from. she is fairly close to me. We played in the same playpen together I bit up three of her x boyfriend's for her she has bad taste in boy's I think anyway. lol
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