Feeling pretty down about things at the moment.
by, 14-Oct-2010 at 19:04 (466 Views)
Over the last few days I have taken a turn for the worse and when I saw my keyworker today I completely broke down. I had gone into work like normal but I just couldn't function so he took me home. It made me feel like such a failure ... my "work" is only two days a week, in a very quiet cafe set up for people with mental health problems to work in, a safe and supportive environment, but I still couldn't manage. I just feel like, if I can't manage that, how am I ever going to get a real job with pay?
Anyway, we had a talk and we pretty much decided that living with my parents was not having a positive effect on me. I still don't really know how I feel about it to be honest.
Reasons for staying at home:
- After talking to my mother recently, she said that I could stay as long as I need to.
- I have no money.
- There is usually somebody in the house.
- My guinea pigs live here.
- I hate change, so I can imagine moving out being pretty traumatic.
Reasons for leaving:
- Being in my childhood home is sometimes triggering for me.
- I don't feel settled here.
- I have to move out sometime.
- I have feeling like a "moocher".
My keyworker is going to find out about a few places I could move to, "supported accommodation" he called it. I got pretty upset when I googled the names of the places because they came up on the NHS website as hospitals.
Basically you get your own bedroom, sometimes with an en-suite, and a communal lounge and dining room and nurses on 24/7. I have walked past one or two of these places and they look pretty grim from the outside.
Maybe I am looking through "gloomy glasses" because of the way I am feeling right now, but to be honest I am scared. Not just about moving out of my parents house, but the direction my life is going in general. Which is down the toilet.
I suppose the reason I posted this was not only to let off steam, but also to ask if anybody here is in a similar situation? I can find very little information about supported accommodation. It is all very vague.