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I'm having an internal conflict gone external. I love my gf, I really do, and she's my mommy and understands my infantalism and my desire to crossdress. I'm thankful I found some1 like her and would be devastated if I lost her, but that's not what I came her to talk about. At first when I told her I wanted to be a full time girl, she did everything in her power to stop me. I told her constantly it's out of her power and she eventually loosened up. But since then, she's seems to always see me as a boy and she says she'll continue doing that cause I biologically am one. So what!!!??!! My personal decision is "f**k being a guy!!" and nothing or no one can change that. If that's not bad enough, she always makes me feel sad, upset, left out, ect. She's always rambling on about her skirts, dresses, high heels, make up, how pretty/beautiful she is, ect. She can never share what that feels like me. She can be so selfish when it comes to that. If she ever does, she never really means it. She always plays around with me and that's fine but when it comes to this, she just doesn't know when to stop.

I told her time and time again that what she does makes me feel sad and left out, but she always seems to ignore that and continue with her games. I'm lost and don't know if I should leave her and find someone else who will succeed where she failed or keep her for the time being. Coming out to anyone about my TG issues is very risky.

In a Nutshell, she knows how bad I want to be a girl and be identified as one. However, she never really take this seriously. I can't make her do this and I'm well aware of that but it would make me so much happier if she just took my TG issues more seriously. Boy is like all she sees in me. Always boy this and boy that!! Anyone have any advice for my little jam?


  1. blarg's Avatar
    I'm sorry to say this...
    A) You are a guy. The whole "being a girl in a guy's body" thing is going way overboard.
    B) She's a girl, you're lucky that she even lets you cross dress etc...

    Conclusion, stop being a whiner, toughen up, and be a man. A woman (i'm assuming she's straight) cannot be a guy as much as a guy can be a girl this is because a girl is XX and a guy is XY, we have something they don't so everything they do to be "guy" ish means they're doing it hypothetically, and i'm pretty sure the male gene is failing, i don't know if this is true or not, but the males will be extinct in like 4 billion years. Any hows, think of it, she accepts you for your tb/etc. she accepts your akward sexuality, she even lets you to pretend that you're the girl of the group from time to time. And honestly if you got a girl who is hot then you're just spoiled, hand her over (if she's hot) to me if you're going to complain about a chick who accepts you for who you ACTUALLY are.
  2. Pojo's Avatar
    She's probably ignoring it because she wants to be with a GUY...If she accepts the fact that you want to be a girl, then she's going to think that she's going to look like a lesbian, and from what I've read, she doesn't want that...You're lucky enough to have what you have now...You shouldn't destroy it just because she's a little close minded on you wanting to be a girl...If you want to ruin this, just because you can't get every little thing you want, then go ahead
  3. Ryan_d's Avatar
    Blarg, some people feel more confortable as a women, I myself am slightly TG. A man can be a women. To what degree is up to the person, weather it means sex change, or just dressing up and being a transexual.

    So... in response to the blog. I knwo this sounds rude and everything but the question ebcoem do you love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her? If not I would say "Use" her? I understand how hard it is to find someone who accepts "us". But in real love you should not ahve to setal for anything less than what or who you feel you are.
  4. ShippoFox's Avatar
    She lets you crossdress? She acts as a mommy for you? No offense, but I think you should be thankful. I'm not sure what the problem is, really. It sounds like you have what you want and you don't even realize it. So just do what you want and stay with her at the same time.
    Updated 16-May-2008 at 10:10 by ShippoFox
  5. SnowPrincessSophie's Avatar
    I KNOW I'M LUCKY (I meant to talk in caps) IF I didn't I WOULDN'T HAVE POSTED THAT INTRO TO MY FIRST PARAGRAPH. I don't have the stuff to cross dress, if I did, I would, and actually, I'm getting about 75% of what I want from all this. I AM THANKFUL, READ MY INTRO IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME (again, I meant to talk in caps). If there's 1 pet peeve of mine, it's misinterpreting what I'm saying, and no I don't wanna destroy it because of this. What ever makes you think i would be that cruel? or cruel at all for that matter? And if there's an even bigger pet peeve of mine, it's completely ignoring my situation and discouraging me from following my goals. Telling me to "Toughen up and quit whining and be a man" is not going to help me anymore than it is a person who's actually happy being a guy. If you can't just understand my situation and all you wanna do is discourage me then I suggest you keep quiet and take it all elsewhere. I do not need anymore than I can handle, thank you. YES, THAT LAST PART GOES FOR YOU, BLARG.
  6. Pojo's Avatar
    Well I don't think she's ever going to take you seriously on wanting to be a girl...And if she does, then that's probably the end of your relationship...If you feel you must be one, even without her, then go for it...But if you are too afraid of her leaving, then you have a dilemma...There isn't much we can do, since it's a "one way or the other" situation...You are just going to have to think about it long and hard...I would suggest just waiting it out, and keep her, since it's hard to find a girl like her
  7. SnowPrincessSophie's Avatar
    That's What I plan to do. But I still have a few doubts.
  8. Pojo's Avatar
    Well...Just try to ignore them...If you obsess over it, then you may end up ruining the relationship
  9. avery's Avatar
    communication is the key to making a relationship work. as much as she's being kind by accepting your various weirdnesses, she gets a little bit of a power trip from rubbing your face in the fact that she has a girl's body and you don't. let her know you realize that she's doing it on purpose, and find out why she's being so sadistic.

    my guess is that she's upset and conflicted about your desire to transition. she wants a boyfriend, not a girlfriend, and her love and support for you is coming into conflict with her inability to be attracted to females.

    it's possible that she also finds your frustruation with your male-ness kind of attractive. whatever the cause, i'm sure she has her reasons. we can all be cruel to one another on occasion -- you probably do things that drive her crazy as well -- so it's best to just forgive and forget and work together to be kinder to one another in the future.
  10. ShippoFox's Avatar
    Okay, sorry. I don't think you'll be able to change her thoughts though, but it doesn't really matter as long as you love each other. Right?

    Is it bothering you that you don't have any dresses, skirts, etc? I can kinda understand that. I have one, but no chance at all to ever wear it anymore (it's some kind of night gown thing) It's kinda annoying to see girls freely wearing dresses and stuff, but I don't really let it bother me too much (cause it's not really their fault anyway). Every once in a blue moon it makes me kinda sad though. Unfortunately, there's just.... not much you can do about it. (unless you have time alone or time with her. Or unless you get a sex change, but that would create an entirely new problem) I don't exactly think of myself as a girl, but it would be nice to pretend sometimes. And I like to crossdress. So I guess I can sorta understand your situation....
  11. the0silent0alchemist's Avatar
    *sigh* look, i understand what your trying to say. but to be fair this must be prety big on her... how long have you been going out? a year, two maybe three i dunno but if t was me.. yeah i think id find it a bit hard to bring myself to 'cross that line' because, well while she understands or desire to crossdress and be a baby, its another thing altogether to make such a drastic change in view know i sound really mean, id think that too in your position, but know this i dont think she really is dong it to be spiteful or anything... just, *sigh* i dunno. i dont really have any answers just hink of what i said....
  12. CutePrincess's Avatar
    Well it is like 4 years later so what is going on with this? Are you still with her? Did she open up to your transgender feelings?
  13. SnowPrincessSophie's Avatar
    She's more than accepting of it now, we're getting married in a year or so. - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.