I just really don't know what to do anymore...
by, 28-Jul-2010 at 04:13 (603 Views)
I have an amazing friend, she means the world to me. Like we've always liked each other since we were friends, but we never dated or anything. I'm kinda scared since I never been in a relationship before, so I never made any move to ask her out or anything. Also, I'm into diapers (obviously) and I have been since elementary school. It's kind of weird saying this, but I do not have a sex drive...it's like the urges aren't there, which means they're obviously somewhere else (which happen to be diapers, fortunately and unfortunately).
I'd like to have a relationship with her, but I can't give up diapers, i can't. Not that I'm not willing to, it's just the urges for them are SO strong, once I stop using them I eventually get dragged back into using them again by my own urges for them. No one who knows me personally would ever suspect me wearing diapers, I mean I was the funny guy in high school that made everyone laugh and feel good, I have so many friends. But then with my "double personality", I got this whole diaper situation that's been recently clashing into my real life, and I can't let everyone find out about them, but I can't go without them either.
I guess I just don't know what I should do, mainly about my friend. I love her dearly, and I want to let her in on my little "guilty pleasure", but I don't want her to look at me any differently...I don't want our relationship to fall apart b/c of this. I never wanted anyone to find out, but now, I kinda wish people knew about it, it's just I wish they would view me the same now as they did before (but that's likely not going to happen). So yea, everyday I'm faced with this stupid situation and it just runs through my head, eating me away emotionally. I mean all diapers have ever brought me is loneliness in my little secluded diaperworld (since idk of anyone else in my life who's into this). Why does life have to be like this!?