Day in the life of...

The time was 4:15, and co-workers are packing away their things to head home while me and my office-mate are whittling away the the minutes until our 5 P.M. quitting time...

Rance: "I definitely think 'Roxanne' is the world's most annoying song."

Cliff: "I bet you I can find something even more annoying."

Rance: "Okay, try me. Use that video site you sent me, see if you can find me a more annoying song. I'll buy your lunch tomorrow if you do!"

Cliff is determined; I hear him rattling away the keyboard with feverish keystrokes and furious clicks of the mouse. A free lunch sounds really good to him, and for a few minutes, I get worried, until I hear Culture Club's "Karma Chameleon" squeaking out of his computer speakers.

Cliff: "I found it! Come on, you can't tell me this song isn't more annoying ... and dude, look at this clown! The eighties were so strange."

Rance: "That song doesn't count, because unlike 'Roxanne', that song is actually good!"

Cliff: "I guess you're right. You know what's funny? You'd think that from looking at this joker, he'd be a flaming homosexual."

Silence.

Cliff: "What?"

Rance: "He is."

Cliff: "....."

Rance: "What?"

Cliff: (He dials his phone. He waits for an answer from the other end.)"Yo! Hey, Yvonne. You know that old-ass Culture Club shirt I have in the closet? Trash it. Trash it! Come on, do this for me, okay? Thanks. Love you." (The phone clicks down.)

Rance: "What's wrong, bud?"

Cliff: "Nothing. I just found out how to stop making all those guys wink at me down at the club. Lunch is on me tomorrow."

I win.