by, 23-Jun-2010 at 01:08 (576 Views)
I'm feeling quite useless these days. My relationship is on a rocky road, I've lost friends (but gained others), and I've been having a really bad feeling around my mother.
I was never raised by the woman or anything, and any of the times I've lived with her, everything has gone wrong. She's trying really hard to talk to me, but I know it's for the best that I don't. She pulls you in like a worm on a fishhook, and then makes you get stuck on hook. I'm constantly ragged on for my mental illness, as well. I'm schizophrenic, not a psychopath. She tells me I'm the latter all the time. I'm sick of her guilt tripping me. I don't really know what to do.
My relationship with my husband is rocky. I think we see too much of each other most days... I'm just tired of the blame always being on me. I'm not really allowed to say much more.
I lost a friend to heroin and needles. The addict became the victim, and connections were lost. I think about her everyday, and she doesn't even realize it. She said some pretty nasty things to me, and then tried using me for drugs again. I can't handle that.
I'm just not really sure what to do. I can't stand this wave of apathy.