Mother's Day..... Yikes.
by, 08-May-2010 at 16:35 (324 Views)
I have always hated Mother's Day.
I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that my mother is one of the most irrational people I know, and I really do not get why I should honor the woman who has zero respect for my boundaries, who clearly thinks of me as an embarrassment to the family, and who thinks that my needs never were all that important.
Why should I honor this woman? Let me give you some examples of things she has done to me throughout my life.....
When I was in third grade, I used to keep a journal to vent out my frustrations. The brief time that lasted, it worked wonders. Then, one day, my mother thought it would be a great idea to dig through my dressers to see what she could find. She found my journal, read it, then sat me down, burst into tears, forced me to read my journal back to her while she hit me in the face every time I read something she did not like. I was never able to trust her at any point in my life since then.
When I was in fourth grade, I started getting allowance from my father. One day, I spent it getting a Metallica tape. My mother then started screaming at me, calling me "selfish" and "worthless", because I did not spend that money to get her a birthday present instead.
My younger sister smacked me around all of the time, throughout my middle and high school years. I was never able to do anything about it - my mother threatened me with legal action if I ever even lifted a single finger against her. Thus, I had to endure countless laughter from everybody around me, being the guy whose younger sister could beat him up. My mother knew what was going on - and I think she enjoyed it very much. She even laughed about it quite often.
When I was 25, I moved back into her house because I had no other place to go. My schizophrenia was getting worse and worse on a daily basis. I desperately needed medical attention. What does my mother do? She tells me to "grow the fuck up", forces me to go to one job interview after another, and instead of helping me get the help I need, she forces me out of her house the second I finally land a decent job. It was not her problem when I lost that job just a couple of days into it because my symptoms were so bad at the time. She did not want a fuckup like myself for a son - it was that simple.
And then there were the times when she told me she wished I was a miscarriage.....
This list is just a small sample of the things she did that violated my boundaries. I could easily write a novel over way she constantly fucked up when it came to raising me.
Yeah, and tomorrow, I have to go to a party to honor this woman.
This is why I hate Mother's Day. I don't see why I should have to honor this woman. Fuck, she made my last birthday party a living hell (and enjoyed doing so) - I really wish there was some way I could get out of going to the Mother's Day party tomorrow.