Well, this is SOMETHING, at least.
by, 02-Mar-2010 at 22:30 (267 Views)
I have an appointment to see a therapist this Friday.
If he turns out to be a good therapist, you can expect to see this turn into a weekly expense for me. Heh, but if he's any good at what he does, it will likely be worth it.
I don't want to keep on trying to bury the pain and sweep it under the rug. I've tried that for three decades. It doesn't fucking work. It always backfires.
I have had many therapists in my life, and the last couple of ones I had did not really want to tackle the really tough issues my heart is dealing with - they thought coddling me and just letting me vent was the way to go. I don't need to be coddled, and venting gets me nowhere if the spring of rage and frustration in my heart knows no limits. I need to face what is bothering me, to be able to look it in the eye and deal with it. The thing is, I really do not know how to do any of that properly.
So, you can probably expect my whiny blog posts to become somewhat less whiny if this works out the way it is supposed to.
On another note, I found myself filling out an application for food stamps today. Money has been very tight the last few months, and with the hours at my job being slashed, pretty much all the income I have that I can rely on is my Disability - and you can imagine, living off that alone can be a real bitch. I did cancel all of my video game pre-orders, and I plan on rationing my diaper stash as much as possible, making this case I purchased a couple of months ago last as long as it can instead of just blowing through it all quickly. I have to be more responsible with my money now - unless I seriously want to live off a steady diet of Top Ramen (which I don't).
So, I will end this post with a big thanks to everybody who has offered kind words in response to my blog posts in the past. But I can't sit here and whine forever. Now is the time for action. Wish me luck.