Prison-block love. (1/28/08)
by, 30-Jan-2008 at 04:09 (447 Views)
Perhaps this will teach me never to ask about too many details...
Rance: "I see on here that you've violated your probation, sir. May I ask what caused the violation?"
Convict: "I beat somebody up, man."
Rance: "I'm going to need a bit more detail. Had you been given a good reason to physically retaliate against the victim, such as for your own self-defense."
Convict: "Not really."
Rance: "If you can give me details, please..."
Convict: (He shuffles uncomfortably in his chair.)"I ... well..."
Rance: "Yes, sir?"
Convict: "So we had this guy in the bathroom of the cells, but I wasn't doing any of the sick stuff, man! I mean, they put a plunger into his mouth and started plugging a broom-stick up his rear-end. I didn't do nothing sexual, though! I just punched him in his face about ten times."
Rance: (A bit shocked and surprised.)"... Yup, that will violate probation, right there, but I'm glad to see that you were the reasonable one in the situation."
Convict: "Well, I don't think it should violate my probation."
Rance: (doubtful.) "Why is that, sir?"
Convict: "Because -- and I ain't lyin', man! -- he enjoyed it up until I pounded his face."