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quietcutie

i guess i should make this more regular

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Its been 2 weeks now after fully accepting this. And things in my life are normalizing. Stressors still present but im keeping it together now more than ever. I find i can finally be more talkative at work and more outgoing. Why did i deny myself this for so long?

I know why, im damaged piece of shit who never understood what unconditional love was because his parents were neglectful. I lost out on alot of life lessons because either A: was locked in my room all the time or B: was being bullied in school. scratch that, wait no. I guess i would like to say from all the bullying it made me strong and independent but man do i have deep scars in the mind man. Looking back at my past is never easy and in fact i like to pretend i was never young and that i was always in my 20s. But sometimes we gotta look back because there is a sprinkle of truth in there somewhere, maybe an explanation to everything.

I don't like to stroke my own ego but i admit i was very smart for my youth. I kinda understood how things work at a age when you shouldn't. Being 7 and caught in a goodnight i took from a neighborhood friends house, my parents did the most absolute terrible thing. Broad fucking daylight they made me march up the that street in nothing but a t-shirt and goodnight to go apologize to whom i stole from. Subsequently that was probably a major cause to my bullying i received.

What i'm trying to say is this. I harbor alot of shame and guilt because my parents attempted to control me as an individual and used the harshest punishments either out of spite or just bad insight.

So where do i go from here? I dont know yet, im still trying to keep the pieces together and and make something good of it. I'm getting there but the journey aint easy. I'll keep in touch love, quietcutie
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  1. Angellothefox's Avatar
    That is harsh what your parents did just for taking some pull-ups! They should have just let you carry the pull-ups that you did not use to your neighbour in your normal clothes. Yes, it would be a punishment and kind of humiliating walking around with diapers hin your arms but at least it is not robbing you of your degnity!

    I have seen or heard something similar like that in the news where one dad was so angry at his daughter he shaved her head and put a diaper on her and locked her out of the house with nothing but a diaper and a T-shirt on.
    You are a very bright, kind and cute adult and if people can not see that well... They should go and learn about diversity.
  2. Angellothefox's Avatar
    That is harsh what your parents did just for taking some pull-ups! They should have just let you carry the pull-ups that you did not use to your neighbour in your normal clothes. Yes, it would be a punishment and kind of humiliating walking around with diapers hin your arms but at least it is not robbing you of your degnity!

    I have seen or heard something similar like that in the news where one dad was so angry at his daughter he shaved her head and put a diaper on her and locked her out of the house with nothing but a diaper and a T-shirt on.
    You are a very bright, kind and cute adult and if people can not see that well... They should go and learn about diversity.
  3. quietcutie's Avatar
    life sucks man, thank you for the kind words
    Updated 1 Week Ago at 23:26 by quietcutie
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