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Oh Me Oh My! OmiOMy's Rambles

Insomnia IDF.

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For several hours, I have been annoyed by one part of my body:

My bladder.

It tingles, it buzzes, and it fills so quickly. But the messed up thing is there's a… not a numbness, but a nagging sort of hypersensitivity in it that makes it hard to tell if I really am this close to having an accident, or if I can safely wait it out until the feeling passes. Sometimes it can wait, but sometimes I have a near disaster on my hands—like yesterday at work, when my nerves almost got the better of me. I have to physically hit my bladder a couple of times, the way my mom used to do when I was potty training and couldn't tell whether or not I really had to pee or not.… I wonder if I am losing my training.

It's not like I've been trying to get diaper trained—I'm trying to improve my control so I don't start having daytime accidents… again. It was so disempowering to be steps from the bathroom and just feel my body give up. It was that night that I decided to start wearing every night.

An attempt to sit up was made just now (I'm lying down), and the movement caused a bit of a wetting. This is how the daytime accidents started: I tried to sit up, and something twinged when I did. I wound up wetting myself on the floor. It's certainly better to be padded. Well, it IS SIDF. Might as well use it, right?
Tags: diary

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