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Starrunner

Saying Goodbye... and Thank You

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As some of you are aware, I have recently been contemplating leaving Adisc to focus on self-care and new journies. I have come to the realization that it is time for me to move on. This is a very painful decision and I can honestly tell you it was not made easily or lightly .

I joined Adisc over four years ago and made a rather unexceptional introduction.

https://www.adisc.org/forum/showthre...e-new-websites

It wasn't the best intro but it took a lot of courage. It was the first time I had ever posted something on the internet. It terrified me. After alĺ, not only was I posting something on a public forum, something to which I was unaccustomed, but it was also an ABDL site. I needed to share this part of myself, but I wasn't sure if I was ready.

I wasn't planning on being an active member in those days. I really didn't think I had much to contribute. As time progresed, however, I found threads where people, particularly young people, were talking about depression, isolation, abuse, and suicide. The posts brought back some long suppressed memories of my own life with an abusive father, suicide, and living in the closet for decades as a gay person who suffered from severe depression. I never talked about any of it in real life, writing it off as a miserable existence and feeling I never deserved anything more. So I just kept it all inside for many, many years. When I joined Adisc, however, and saw so many vulnerable young people here living with similar experiences, it brought all those long-suppressed memories to the surface. They came flooding out like wild dogs unleashed from a kennel.

As I reached out to members who were going through what I lived through, I felt, for the first time that my experiences had value, that sharing them with others here might help them find their own answers and find the strength to carry on. I honestly cried so many times as I was responding to a person in crisis who felt no one cared. By connecting with them in the present, I was connecting to a part of my own past that I had kept hidden and suppressed for decades. It was cathartic. It gave some real meaning to those terrible memories of my own youth. Adisc had become an important part of my life and it has helped me grow.

Throughout my time here, I hope I have been able to help a few people and perhaps made a small difference. I never made a secret of the fact that I got far more out of Adisc than I could ever put into it. And so for that, I just want to thank everyone here. It has been a privilege to have known and been friends with so many wonderful people.

We come and go in this circle of life. Adisc was in good hands long before I arrived and it will remain in good hands after I am gone. I am inspired by the long-term members who have given so much of their time, dedication, and passion to supporting others here who are struggling in so many different ways. And perhaps with an older member stepping back, some newer members will take the opportunity to step up and spread their wings. I especially want to thank Moo for his vision, insight and dedication to ensuring Adisc remains a quality site, and for allowing me to have been a small part in this wonderful playground.


And so, it's time... I keep trying to think of a few more words or one more final thought, just to delay this moment. I truly, truly hate to go. I will miss you more than you will ever know. Thank you for everything you have given me. Take care of yourselves, and take care of each other.

Love forever,
Rob


One last song for the road:

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  1. tiny's Avatar
    Noooooo! *sob* I'm going to miss reading your posts sooo much.

    I'm lost for words... And what's all this about you getting more out of ADISC than you contribute?! You've really been an exemplary member -- as your shiny gold name (and the speed with which you achieved it) makes clear.

    You're such a kind, wise, caring person, and the patience and clarity of thought in which you posted must have inspired, helped or touched many more people than you realise.

    So I really wanted to make sure that I'm here to give you a firm handshake, a tearful bearhug, and the Arnold J. Rimmer full ceremonial salute!



    I'll miss you, buddy.

    P.S. You know... you could always leave your account open and just check in one every few months if you felt like it... ... ...
  2. KryanAshford's Avatar
    Goodbye my friend, thank you for all of the support and help.

    I wish you well on your adventures and your future.

    Take care.
  3. Maxx's Avatar
    Never say never. I debated with myself a few months ago regarding account closure and decided there was no need. So... whether it's permanent, or merely time off.... it's been fun. Be well, be fast, be wet.
  4. Marka's Avatar
    [SIZE=1]I get this message with the Elton John/Disney video: "This video contains content from Disney, who has blocked it on copyright grounds."[/SIZE]

    [QUOTE][SIZE=4][I]"...Throughout my time here, I hope I have been able to help a few people and perhaps made a small difference. I never made a secret of the fact that I got far more out of Adisc than I could ever put into it..."[/I][/SIZE][/QUOTE]

    Surely, you [I]must-know[/I], Rob... That you most certainly have been able to help (at least) a few people [here and, scores more where you are] and... You've made [good] differences, in all sizes and manner, too!

    It seems a greater shame, to me; that [I]you[/I] didn't get more of [U]what you [I]needed[/I][/U], too...

    I still believe that you and I are more alike in many ways, than not - even if, we've diverged a fair-bit on procedural comparison... And, in-spite of your sensitivities and, my perhaps confusing replies...

    ...I've never [I]not[/I], had a great deal of respect and admiration for you and your work in outreach and support... particularly where it concerns the more vulnerable of the people...

    I believe that I loved you though, we became inadvertently injurious to one another - and that's clouded our perceptions...

    You ought not to feel compelled to have to explain staying or leaving... I don't intend to push or pull you, in any direction... and perhaps, I reveal something untoward about myself; assuming that I have anything to do with your intentions, now...

    Anyway... I seem too clumsy in my approach to you... So, in the spirit for which I intend here, now...
    ...peace, harmony and, closure to you - whatever you decide to do... I only intend to support your person... even if that means; [I]'loving you',[/I] a little less...

    Humbly,
    -Marka
    Updated 25-Jan-2018 at 19:59 by Marka
  5. Gsmax's Avatar
    Very saddened to hear that you are leaving. Appreciated all the help you gave me on ADISC over the years.

    I wish you the best of luck in whatever your next stop in life is.
  6. OmiOMy's Avatar
    In the short time that I've known you, I've come to value your insight and advice and yes, just sort of knowing that you were there. It'll be tough seeing you go, but you know your needs better than we ever will. Whether you go for a while or for good, know we all care about you and think fondly of you. <3
  7. BabyAshie's Avatar
    I know I didn't know you very well... but you were nice to talk to. c:
  8. egor's Avatar
    You may leave, but you will not be forgotten.

    In your tenure you have done so much to make "easy access" to mental health hotline.

    I hope you best and hope that you will feel free to come back at some time.

    Egor
  9. kerry's Avatar
    There have been few people here who have been as positive and insightful and helpful as you on such a consistent basis since you've been here, Rob. I'm glad to have known you even in this limited capacity. You have my very best wishes for whatever life may bring.

    kerry
  10. Trevor's Avatar
    Best wishes. Things will still be here in one form or another if you decide to come back around. You'll be missed.
  11. FluffyWolfe's Avatar
    I hope for the best of you Starrunner! Take care!
  12. dogboy's Avatar
    Oh Starrunner my friend, I hate to see you go. You have been such a friend and a support to me on so many occasions. I will miss your terribly. I hope all is well with you. Sometimes we do need to take new directions. I'm only too aware of that since my wife passed. I've thought about selling the house, quitting my job and moving back to Toms River. Life moves us on whether we like it or not.

    When I wrote my novel, I wrote a chapter titled, "Being Pushed". We get pushed into directions by circumstances, often by things that are out of our control such as in my case at the present. Sometimes we change directions because we are in control which I'm guessing, is the case here. Regardless, ADISC will be diminished by your departure. May life smile on you my friend.
  13. Scaramouche's Avatar
    Starrunner. I can only repeat what others have said. You have been a driving force here with your good, solid responses. That gold name is proof of that and I am proud to say I gave you more than one +1 rep over the years. As you know, I left for 15 months but I kept peeking in and saw that people needed help and some of the stronger members were falling bu the wayside. Since I became ic I decided to come back. You as well, may come back some day. We are always here for you and you are welcome back with open arms anytime!

    You will truly be missed.

    Scaramouche/Zipperless
  14. AnimeDude892's Avatar
    Thank you for everything Starrunner! I wish you the best of luck in the future.
  15. ArchieRoni's Avatar
    Ah, Starrunner, I wish you all the best. Through ups and downs over the past few years, you've been a consistent voice of kindness and aid to people. You've shown some real expertise when it comes to mental health, and provided people with hope and at least some of the resources that could help them get better. I'm confident you've made a difference, and I'm sad to see you go. Once again, all the best on your journeys through life!
  16. RompingBulbasaur's Avatar
    Thank you for everything you contributed! I haven't been here long but I can already tell you made a huge impact on this community, and I wish you the very best wherever you go from here!
  17. Poofybutt's Avatar
    We weren't friends for very long, but I was always happy to see you under my friends section. Your posts were frequently insightful and helpful as well.

    Good luck in your future endeavours
  18. AdorableRabbit's Avatar
    Thank you, and good luck. I'll miss you.

    *HUGS*
  19. MotherFaith's Avatar
    Will miss your insight and kindness. You have taught me how to show more compassion and be tolerant of different views. I always knew that if I needed help you would be there. The hole you leave will be hard to fill. But as you see so do I. Younger members will step up to the challenge of being a great leader to a great community.
  20. soupy's Avatar
    You always seemed to have something of a knack for finding the comforting words people needed to hear and I hope that talent stays with you though what life and your plans for life have in store. Best of luck in all your future endeavors.
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