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An Older ABDL Making the Best of It (1)

Babies and More Babies (blog post #2)

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I used to be more or less what we might call today as “asexual,” as far as having any desire to have sex with a woman. I was a “virgin” until age 37, and until that age, I only played around with diapers two or three times a year. The only reason I think I probably had my first sex at age 37, was probably because I felt it was some kind of a “duty” as I am a human, and this is fundamental to the “human experience.” At the time, I suspected that I was probably signing myself up for something beyond whatever I might expect.

Once I began my “sex life” sure enough, my ABDL side began to come alive as well. I do believe that sexuality and ABDL are closely inter-related, at least that has been my own personal experience. By the time I was 49, I got married to someone who probably only tolerated my ABDL side because she saw it as one of the “prices” she would have to pay to be married. I did tell her about my ABDL side long before we got married, but she clearly viewed it more with dread and even jealousy than with compassion or understanding.

Yes we did have regular sex, and I only did my ABDL thing maybe once a month or so, almost always when she was out of the house. She knew I did it as I had told her I would and did, but she always “judged me” for it, never accepting it as anything but “weird.” After 7 years of this, and other marital differences, we each went our own ways.

Now at age 61, I think I can better appreciate the benefits of living with someone, but it would have to be someone who did not “judge me” for having an ABDL side, but who merely accepted it as a part of who I am, or at least how I feel inexplicably drawn to act sometimes. I don’t see being an ABDL as being who I am at heart, but only as some part of somehow being human. Others are drawn into “making babies” as a part of their human experience, I feel drawn to somehow make myself into a baby, from time to time.

To be continued….

Updated 14-Jan-2018 at 20:00 by Yooda (uniformitize)

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Comments

  1. gigglemuffinz's Avatar
    I wanted to say that your blog is well written and compelling, and I think that your perspective is already very nice to read. I kinda hope you continue posting.

    I'm sure splitting up is never a fun thing to do, especially after you tried to build a life for yourself together, but I really hope you find someone who is ready to put aside all the judgement and just be... happy. You know? It doesn't seem like much to try to find people that just want to share the journey through life with you and try to make each other happy?

    You deserve to feel un-judged, and appreciated for who you are as a whole person.
  2. Yooda's Avatar
    Hi gigglemuffinz, and thanks for the kind words of encouragement,

    Yes, I currently have someone else in mind who I will be careful to make sure understands and accepts me for who I am before we might get too involved with one another. Previously when I got married, I was not yet comfortable enough in my own "skin" to be able to insist on finding someone who would not judge me. Why? Because I was still judging my own self, why else?

    Funny how life works that way. How can you expect not to be treated poorly, when you treat your own self the worst of all? Yes, most of society does have a tendency to pre-judge ABDL's, but that does not mean that we have to go along with that "program." Like it or not, most of society has a tendency to prejudge just about everyone, for one thing or another, but that certainly does not mean that we have to go along with it.

    Now in my own probably self-conceited way, I theorize that the most likely reason that I am an ABDL, is probably because I needed to realize that I need not be so judgmental of everyone, and most especially of myself. Weird theory, no?

    Yooda
  3. gigglemuffinz's Avatar
    Not too weird in my opinion, I often feel the same way about such things. My own differences with people. We all at the very least should remember the parts of us that make us different and use that to inform the way we treat others.

    Let's beat the scrip and treat each other with kindness, respect and decency! Yay!
  4. Illinoise's Avatar
    Maybe thousands of years ago, when humanity needed all the humans it could create to gurantee the continuance of the species, it was everyone's "duty" to have kids. But with SEVEN BILLION people now living on this blue rock, that ship has kind of sailed, so to speak.

    I am aesexual, and make no apologies for it.
  5. Yooda's Avatar
    I must say I'm quite greatful to have found folks who don't start out by "blowing a fuse" when they first find out I have this odd tendency! I cannot blame others for being judgmental of this tendency that I have, because I know that in the past I have been judgmental of others for having tendencies that I could not understand, say for example: being gay (though I was never judgmental in a public way.) My gay friends have since helped me to be more understanding of their positions, and obviously after 50 years to think it over, it has slowly began to dawn on me that we we are all really very much quite the same!

    Yes, I think that probably a good deal of this has to do with what I will call "hardwiring of the brain" but on an even deeper level, on a level that we seldom even ever access, on that level I think that we somehow probably choose the lives that we are born into. That's just the spiritual side of me speaking about its theories. I hope you don't mind.

    Does anyone else have any theories about any of this?
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