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Tommycombs

My biggest gift to myself

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This year I've gotten the very best gift already and I gave it to myself. This year I finally got acceptance.

I've been ABDL my whole life but would only admit to the DL part and even that filled me with shame and an ever-present fear of being discovered. I knew I wasn't alone but I didn't want to admit I was like the others. But facts are facts and this year I decided it was time to deal with these awkward feelings and face that demon head on. That's why I joined ADISC in April. I was tired of running from this side of me. So I took the advice I gleaned from these boards and even though I was scared to do it, I went 24/7. I don't use them every single time in every instance as it's more a comfort thing but the shame I felt when I did use them is gone. So that brings me to now.

I've done it! No more shame or guilt. No more feeling like a freak. I'm cool with who I am now. And here's proof. In the past I would have never dreamed of telling people my secret. I told my wife years ago and that was scary. She had to essentially guess at what I was saying. But now a family emergency has brought my small household a new resident. My brother in law is staying with us until he gets on his feet. I told him my big secret without any fear or awkwardness. It was matter of fact and he was super cool about it. So no feelings of sneaking around him. Amazing.

So what's changed? I realized there is more than one perspective and my borderline personality disorder was distorting how I viewed it. Instead of feeling disgust, why not embrace it? If you could fly but nobody else could, would you do it or clip your wings? This is like a super power that makes me calm and friendly. Why get rid of that? The light may be red for those vanilla normies but I'm riding in the lane with the green light. Plus I've gotten enough rational ideas and responses that if and when I do get discovered I can deal with it and shame any right back who tries to tear me down for it.

I have to live my life and I don't want to get old and regret that I didn't live my life because I was afraid of others. Screw that. There is no objective normality. And I may obey society's laws but their playground rules? Forget it. Following their conventional expectations means not being myself. When I go out in public now, there is no nervousness of people discovering me. My personality has actually gotten better because I no longer feel like I'm putting on an act for the public. This is no fetish for me. This is a legit lifestyle that has been programmed into my personality from a very young age. And my journey has given me the greatest gift I could hope for this year. The anti- diaper demons are gone!
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Comments

  1. Marka's Avatar
    A sincere and succinct, congratulations and... welcome aboard to This is Your Life!
    You've also now become a role-model, of sorts, too...

    Best regards,
    -Marka
  2. Osito's Avatar
    I'm really glad you've made major progress accepting your ABDL side.
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