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bambinod

"diaper therapy" for a morbidly shy bladder

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One of my "justifications" for wearing diapers is to overcome my shy bladder, which I've talked about several times here. It's entirely a mental thing, but is basically a "peeing in public or in a situation you're not comfortable with". And wetting a diaper in public is one way of forcing your body to get used to those things. When I first started wearing a diaper, I had a really hard time wetting it under any conditions even at home alone, in any position. But as time went on, and with lots of practice, I got to where I could wet while laying down in bed for example. The "baby steps" for me included wetting while standing indoors alone, wetting while standing outside, while sitting, in the car stopped at a red light, in a car in motion, while DRIVING, starting to wet while standing and then being able to continue the stream as I started slowly walking, and starting/ending a wetting while walking. At that point I'd gained so much more control over my bladder I found I could use a public restroom, a standing urinal, and even a standing urinal in the company of others. It was amazing! (and I know, others take it for granted, but when you have a morbidly shy bladder, it's a real problem!) So my "diaper therapy" has served a very practical purpose.

And then of course there's my waking up frequently every night, and spending time trying to get back to sleep. Not having to make 2-5 trips to the bathroom every night has really helped me to get more sleep. Get up out of a comfy warm bed, turn on the lights, long walk across a cold floor, standing on even colder linoleum, standing there pissing into the bowl, loud flush, another cold walk, crawl back in bed, trying to get comfortable again, sheets are cold now too, takes me 20 minutes each time to fall back asleep every time after that jarring experience. OR just wake lightly, wet my diaper, and fall right back asleep! I'll take door number 2 for the win!

People that don't wear diapers really have no idea what they're missing.

The thing here is, if you have a shy bladder, the best way to overcome it is with practice. And it's difficult and frustrating to practice it. There's only so many opportunities during the day to use a public toilet. And it's very frustrating to just stand there at a urinal trying to force the valve open as person after person walks up to a stall by you, does their business, and walks off without you having accomplished so much as a dribble. (it's embarrassing too! I kept imagining people looking at me and thinking "what's wrong with him? why is he just standing there doing nothing?") And then even after they're gone, straining hard just to get a few lame spurts out until you finally have enough relief to call it good for now. (and in the meanwhile, every loud noise, every person you hear walk by or open the door, causes your bladder to slam shut and take you another 20 seconds of trying to relax it to get it moving again!) Being able to relax and just focus yourself on wetting your diaper over the day when at home alone for example, you're in a much less stressful/challenging situation, but still one that requires some effort and concentration because your diaper adds that element of unfamiliarity. And as I mentioned above, you can gradually "turn up the difficulty level" as your control improves. It's so much easier to take it a step at a time than to try to force yourself to jump off the cliff.
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