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KryanAshford

Want to retire my adult status.

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Wanting nothing to do with being an adult. I hate being an adult. I'm tired of being the strong one. The one to help everyone else. I've been the one to come to the rescue. I've never been the one to be taken care of. From the moment I've been able to take care of myself, I've had to. I would love just have someone to dote on me for a change.
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  1. AustinTheLionhearted's Avatar
    I know how you feel. There have been many times when I wanted to throw in the towel and give up on being an adult. I too was tired of adulting because of all the work I have to do as a college student. The strain of meeting unreasonable deadlines and living without anyone in my life at school that was even remotely friendly that would even want to talk to me. The situation that was compounded by my parents knowing about my diapers and my little side. Just as an antivirus would specify a computer virus as a foreign object that needed to be deleted, they rejected that side of me. I had been on that little side hiatus and school strain for 2 years and counseling was getting me nowhere in trying to heal and move forward while my little side was crying out for more every day that I did not give in and feed it. I resisted who I was for those two long unhappy years after high school and almost paid the price in my own life and future as a result.

    Then, I met a therapist unlike any other that I have seen. He accepted who I was on the inside and I required little to no time testing the waters or getting to trust him. For me, it was trust at the first meeting. After reconciling with my parents this year I thought that I had gotten over the hump of the depression that had lurked in my subconscious for such a long time. However, it was only the beginning of healing. My sessions with my therapist helped pave the way to accept my little side and buying the supplies I desperately needed for addressing the 2 year long hunger that my little side had endured without an answer, gave me hope for my adult future. On the first time crawling into my little head space since 2 years ago, I felt liberated to have that part of me recognized again. This was without it's fair share of problems, like shy bladder and other problems with being able to do it at certain times and in certain places because my parents wanted me to do it out of their sight.

    This fact (of my little space being limited by people in the house) made me feel guilty that I was doing it again, despite how good it felt to be in diapers and doing things with my little space. I was distressed that because my father was home most of the time, I wouldn't have the amount of freedom or space necessary to properly achieve my little space as it was 2 years ago. That is when I turned to the ADISC discord server and yesterday with no warning, MetalMann helped me into my little head space and it was a more rewarding experience than any previous little space experience had ever given me. Even though the interactions were text based, my entire consciousness felt loved and cared for, compounded by the safety and security of being in diapers/onesies, sucking a pacifer/bottle and acting it out while on the discord chat. This new and rewarding experience gave me insight into the feeling that as long as this practice continues, I would be able to move on with my life and be more positive while in adult mode. It gave me hope for the future that I would build with my own strength of will from what were the ashes of my childhood and that with both sides being maintained, anything would be possible.

    So no matter what happens, your little side may provide the healing you need to be strong again. By feeding that side of you, think of it as recharging your adult self as well over time. At least for me it is like that anyway. Do not be discouraged from the path you have chosen because no matter what, your little space will help you face your future as an adult.
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