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trauma of identity and the unwanted child

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This text hit me like a jackhammer right to the face

(genders neutralized by me...)

The childís identification with his or her motherís wants as a survival strategy means that it must identify with the motherís hatred and rejection of the child. This sets up an impossible internal psychological dynamic of self-hatred, self-denial, and self-abuseÖ the child internalises the perpetrator mother and becomes a perpetrator to himself, ignoring and belittling his own wants and desires, subjugating its will to that of its internalised perpetrator mother.

At the same time the child constantly feels helpless and vulnerable, and may use this helplessness and vulnerability as a survival strategy in order to manage their life. The result is a non-life, a life of persistent undermining and failure, and all relationships are likely to repeat the perpetrator victim dynamics of childhood. The inner conflict between the aspirations of the Healthy Self, which is always potentially available after a trauma split, and the activities of the Survival Self which in this instance is the internalised perpetrator self dominate the personís life. There can be no authentic self life; there can only be an endless repetition of the early pre-birth relational dynamics.
Read the complete Article on Vivian Broughtons page:


  1. Marka's Avatar
    Without yet reading the full article... I'm left with thinking and feeling... wow!
    I have to get back to this... don't allow me to forget it...

    Thank you, Ben!
  2. Starrunner's Avatar
    Very interesting article, thanks for posting it. - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.