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Tough Choices Ahead

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I have been struggling with the whole notion of being scared being institutionalized since 2010, and now six years on it seems the only way forward in my life to become more independent is to ask to be placed in the very thing I am scared of and go into care because of my profound disabilities.

I know that if I am placed in some sort of care it will have it's benefits in the fact I won't be such a burden to my 70 year old pearents who have only wanted me to have the very best in life, and yes its a little ironical that I and not my pearents are going into care at some point next year although it couldn't have come at a better time in my life as I feel like I have to move on and that's not possible for me at this time.

If I go into care and have a properly done assessment of me maybe things will improve you see I have had high functioning autisum all of my life and now since 2010 to add to my list of pycalogical problems my body is telling me that I shouldn't have been out of diapers and this fact is a little bit embarrassing for me to admit and there are going to be some touch choices ahead for me as I have to decide what is best for me and although that seems selfish I can't go on with things the way they are now, I love my pearents but I have come to the realisation that I need to move on in my life.

Fortunately those thoughts aren't playing on my mind but I still think it is about time I reached out for help and to this aim I have contacted a charitable organization called Mencap and they promise to help me find a place of my own whilst being in their care so I don't have to move into a care home which is reassuring to me as I have always associated those with negitive things like death or losing your dignity but I think also that if I can finally get the help that I have needed for a long time that maybe I should ask to be put back into diapers more often as it would be the best solution to deal with my disabilities and to relax my mind.

At this stage in my life I already wear diapers from time to time due to the fact that I have minor neurological damage caused by episodes of past epilepsy which is part of my problem if I can get someone else to put me into diapers then that would be a good thing because I don't want to have embarrassing accidents all the time.

Yours sincerely

Health care

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