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Venting in blogs is...?

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Okay I guess, maybe I won't get so many opinions this way. I have no idea how to not take things personally. I don't know what I'm supposed to do just say that I don't take things personally and it happens? I've been this way for so long and I don't know or understand how to change. I'm lost and probably more suicidal than I have ever been in a long time which makes me hate myself because I want to live... I just am unaware of alternatives that would help other than prayer which does help, I just don't do it like I should. I know an athiest or two has told me I have to fix things myself... but take a good look at how well that worked out? I have been a Christian most of my life. I tried being an athiest for about 4 years, but it just didn't make sense to me. Same I'm sure as some who used to be Christian but turned athiest.

Regardless... I am hurting and telling me others have it worse makes me feel worse and helps no one. I hope that I can figure this whole 'life' thing out because right now I don't have one and I feel left out.

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