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caitianx

Autism, Cerebral Palsy, and being an "Adult Baby"...#292

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1/2 past 11:00 in the evening and I am finally starting to "wind down" after a very long day.
I did have to pay a medical bill, and then I had to drive down to the Wellington Circle MBTA Public Transit Station to take the Subway into Boston, MA for another Disability Civil Rights Meeting.
Anyway, I need some "quiet time" before bedtime at ~ 2:00 AM later.
Before I arrived home before 10:00 PM, I stopped at the Walmart on NH Route 28 here in town for a microwaveable sandwich, a small bag of potato chips and a Diet Coke soda pop for a "late" Supper.
Well, at least I am financially "out of the hole" that I had gotten myself into, due to my having to replace my AFO Leg Braces.
Yes, time for a "long" sit-time on my plastic pail adult potty chair for some diaper-less time. I do need to quietly hug an play with my dolly friends, "Pam" and "Emily".
I apologize, but lots of times, I like to engage in simple "little girl play" with "dolls".
I am a "BoyGirl".
Depending upon how I feel inside, sometimes I am a boy, and sometimes I am a girl.
I have both kinds of gender feelings inside me.
I am not ashamed to need and to play with gentle loving dolly friends.
I also like to play as a little boy with my toy cars and trucks and my NERF toy guns.
Am I a bad and awful person because I am both boy and girl inside?
Some people think so, because they see gender expression as rigid and unvarying.
My body is male.
But there are times, when I refer to my personal private anatomy by the correct opposite gender nomenclature.
There are times when I think that my vulva is deformed and "inside-out" from birth.
But, my body has a penis, scrotum, testicles, and a frenulum.
Yet, many times over the past 45 years I have looked at myself in a mirror and I have named my personal anatomy, vulva, labia, and clitoris.
Am I Transgender, Transsexual or Transvestite?
Just an interesting question to ask of myself.



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