by, 05-Mar-2016 at 20:06 (144 Views)
2016 has really not been a great year for me so far.
I know I should be thankful for a lot of things. Thankful that I'm able to live on my own and work at a local business that's only blocks away from where I live. My cost of living is very cheap because I don't have a car and most ultilites in my house are free. Also, I have someone in my life that is willing to be somewhat of a "daddy" to me and treat me like a little boy and give me cuddles and snuggles and diaper changes.
Despite all of these things, I feel like I'm breaking down. I feel anxious all the time, I have low self-esteem, I'm socially awkward, I feel very alienated from all my peers. I got really close to a coworker last fall/early winter, and our relationship went sour because of some stupid, poorly-thought out things i said. I still have to see him week in and week out and he treats me like a stranger, when before, we'd flirt all the time at work and he'd come over and we'd snuggle. But now things are totally fucked up and he hates me. To make matters worse, I opened up to him about my ABDL side, because I thought I could trust him, and now he's walking around knowing all of this really personal stuff about me and it makes me feel even more insecure than before. I feel like I just want to disappear. Close my eyes and go to sleep and not wake up ever again. I feel so alone, so scared, so sad. I just need to be held.