View RSS Feed

caitianx

Autism, Cerebral Palsy, and being an "Adult Baby"...#285

Rate this Entry
I guess I cognitively broke down and cried for hours this afternoon.
Just a lot of things to worry about.
Yes, I am still feeling very sad.
People expect us physically and developmentally disabled adults to be "super achievers", but I simply fall short of what society expects me to be.
The real truth, is that I am a failure as a disabled adult.
I permanently failed at employment, despite earning a 4-year Engineering Degree from "Wentworth Institute".
I did not become independent in in life until age 53.
Yes, on Sunday I will turn 58.
It is pretty much totally normal for the eldest son of an untreated psychotic parent (My Mother) to "totally fail at life".
Parental severe mental illness totally destroys their children's cognitive capacity to "succeed in life".
Yes, I am a Godless Sodomite, and I have "never dated".
I only pretended to date a Jewish Female in the mid 1980's.
Anyway, I am "evil", and every Television Church Pastor throughout the entire United States wants me dead for even physically existing in this world.
Donald Trump wants me dead too.
Ted Cruz wants me dead too.
Marco Rubio wants me dead too.
I try to be a nice person, but I never receive any respect for my always trying to do what is right, and not what is expedient or popular.
I guess I am feeling "to Hell with even bothering to celebrate my upcoming Birthday on this upcoming Sunday".
I apologize for my thoughts this evening.
Just a lot on my mind.




Categories
Uncategorized

Comments

  1. Marka's Avatar


    caitianx
    ,

    I don't know if "super achievers" is what's expected, so much as perhaps not many or enough expectations (or confidence) from others.

    You might actually be 9-feet tall yet, if you're standing in a 6-foot deep hole, you'll only appear to be a mere 3-feet tall. (Or, your viewpoint is only in perspective of 3-feet above the larger surface.) But, are you not then 9-feet tall still? Start the measure from where your feet rest (not from the larger surface around you) - measure to the very top of your head (not to the tops of other's heads)... I see then, that you are in-fact... 9-feet tall !!

    It's said, that "you can't fail unless, you quit"

    I won't bring you useless platitudes or, suggest that you simply ought to smile and be satisfied for what you do have and, have accomplished...

    I don't see where you've 'failed' at all except, in better recognizing your own genuine worth...

    Know your own worth, not as it compares to any other yet, how it compares to you...

    Nice is nice and Right is right though, neither is necessarily of the other; you may suffer or gain from either yet, only one can test of truth... Nice, cannot be proven universally; it's a disposition or a facade. Right, is generally self-evident and, requires little more than observation... And, to know (and do) what is right, is to know the respect that comes from it...

    Pay (value) yourself - before you require it from others... otherwise, who shall invest in your worth, that you yourself have not attributed any value?



    For myself, I shall not likely earn a degree...

    My independence in living, is largely a matter of perspective... in fact, I have become more dependent yet, I have gained greater autonomy...
    For you, what I would wish for your upcoming birthday is... be amazed at all that you have overcome! - Then know, how much more you may have opportunity to accomplish still...

    An early though genuine - Happy Birthday!

    My best,
    -Marka
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.