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Finding Myself in ABDL: Sexual Arousal

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When I was younger, anytime that I thought of, or put on a diaper, I would get sexually aroused, I would use the diaper then masturbate with it, if not just going right into masturbation.. These days, I still do. The thing is, I don't really want to get aroused. Now when I get aroused with diapers, I don't really feel the need to masturbate. I do sometimes, but most of the time if I just sit there it will go away. It will normally return though, especially when I'm about to wet my diaper. They say that you should point yourself down when diapered, but when I get an erection from it, it is not at al comfortable. I'm trying to figure out how to stop getting aroused by it every time. it used to be a sexual thing for me, but now its not. At least I would prefer it not to be.

The reason I like diapers is I like the way they make me feel, physically and emotionally. When I'm asked how it makes me feel, I can describe how I feel physically; warm, soft, comfortable and most times relaxed. Although no matter how hard I try I can't put into words how it makes me feel emotionally. The first day that I wore diapers, my girlfriend was at work I had the day off. I had told her about my ABDL and wanting to wear and she was really confused, but we talked about it the night before and we decided that we would give it a test run. She would comeback that night and we would talk about how it made use feel knowing that I was wearing. The only thing that I could say I felt emotionally is I was happier than I had been in a long time. Usually my days are "Okay", but that day was Great!! Whether it was because I was wearing a diaper and I finally didn't have to hide it, it just makes me happy, or a mix of the two I'm not really sure.

There is an Article you can find in the Article section of the forum that I read a few times over. Now I am starting to understand each side more. It talks about how Diaper Lovers have more of a sexual fetish, more common, but also can be emotional/sensual. I think when I was younger it was a sexual fetish, but now I think its moving more towards a sensual/emotional fetish. I read the article a ferw times now and I am realizing that you can be considered both AB and DL. Now the question is, what am I more? Am I a little Adult baby and A little Diaper Lover, or is it all Diaper Lover?

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