FauxPas

Alright, I almost feel bad for saying this, but at the same time I don't. Since I defriended the girl that I was in the car accident with, I have felt amazing. Is it possible that she was the root cause of my depression? I always felt happier being around her, but at the same time looking back now, I'm not sure how true that was. Things changed after the accident.

Don't get me wrong, I am still very pissed off at her for suggesting suicide to me and now she is lying about it and saying I took what she said out of context. But I am certainly happier without her in my life.

I also don't want to admit it, but I have this bit of schadenfreude when I think about her. She told me she hates it where she currently lives, her step mom is verbally abusive and her father doesn't really care and all I can think is that as of right now she deserves anything she gets. I know this probably makes me a bad person for taking enjoyment in her suffering, but I don't feel bad for it. What she did to me was unforgivable.

To top it off, she called my Mom and told her that she thought I needed to move, that I wasn't happy in Colorado. Part of me thinks she is a little bit correct on that one. My depression does always get worse during the winter, maybe I need to move somewhere warm. But right now I have a good job, I get double time on Holidays and just a couple days ago they gave me a gift bag for having perfect attendance. They know how to treat their employees right I must say.

But to get back on topic, I feel that this girl is going to try to "mend" our relationship come RMFC next year, 8 months. I only get this feeling because she told me I would not hear from her again for a long time and that will be the next time that I know of that she will be in Colorado. As I have said, I will not forgive her and I will not be her friend again. She cannot admit her faults and fess up to what she said to me, I don't need that shit in my life.

Oh, well. Currently I have the next two days off, I am scheduling a time with a local fursuit maker to fix my bodysuit up before BLFC. I am cleaning my apartment, my bathroom, my closet, my floor, I've done laundry for the first time in 3 weeks and got it folded.

2016 is going to be a good year and I think I can rid myself of my depression if I can keep this up. You know how I know I'm getting better? I sing a long to my music! have not done that in a long ass fucking time. I am smiling and laughing again. God this feels good!