by, 22-Nov-2015 at 06:20 (134 Views)
Recently I began wearing diapers very consistently, including to Class (I go to college), parties, and pretty much 24/7 excluding BM's.
My girlfriend is now aware of my diapers as well, I actually wet the bed one night and woke up for class in a wet bed with her next to me. Needless to say she now makes me wear my diapers to bed. Now she makes me do this by saying she wont have sex with me unless I'm wearing my diaper, (well don't worry hunny ill happily wear my diaper all day every day if you want).
The thing is I'm now getting remotely scared, when I wear my diapers I feel as if I have no control of my bladder, all of the sudden I feel the urge I need to go and before I know it I'm wetting my diaper. I feel nervous that I'm psychologically becoming incontinent.
Back before I wore diapers as often I would always get what I would call "Stagefreight" and would just say repeatedly to myself, "you are wearing diapers, you have no control". The issue with that is I think my brain has begun to believe it.
The following week I found myself waking up at 2:00am to a full diaper. this normally is fine but this time it was number 2...
The upside: when I don't wear my diapers this isn't an issue
The downside: when I wear my diapers I cannot control myself anymore. I unfortunately hate when I have to change my poopy diapers and wipe the poop off of myself.
I want to wear diapers all the time, but I also don't want to poop myself uncontrollably during class. I'm also concerned people might be aware of my issue as when I was in calculus the other day I wet my diaper and it overflowed and I had a big pee stain on my sweatpants. Thankfully my girlfriend was close by and had her diaper bag with my change of clothes and a real diaper.
Now she makes me wear thick diapers around campus and other places. She even made me wear a Crinklz - L to her parents house because she didn't trust me to control myself in the tena's I generally wear. I have a 32" waist, being generous and am 135 pounds. Needless to say I'm pretty sure her parents know now..