Much Ado About Nothing
by, 04-Nov-2015 at 09:47 (180 Views)
A play written by Shakespear, for some reason it popped into my head. I haven't made a post to the site in a bit, so I figured I'd make something to let people know I'm still here. I have little to no progress so far... but with any luck things will go better for me soon in regards to the GED thing. I missed the original appointment and have been really lazy lately. More in the sense of... a restlessness that is unquenchable regardless of whatever I do. I NEED to do something but want to do nothing at all. If I had to put how I felt into words, I would say.. lethargic misanthropy. Normally I like people but lately I just don't feel like connecting with people. I talk to my dad and grandmother, so that's something. I haven't uploaded anything to youtube since the person made their comment. I feel like It shouldn't have affected me as much as it has.
Do you ever just wonder if your future is worth living to meet? To discover what opportunity lay just around the bend? I often find myself laying awake at night unable to sleep. The thoughts in my head just keep on strolling along like a river of vapid thoughts reaching no real point. Then at other times it's silent as if there are no thoughts at all, then something in between. I find it funny how much of a contrast there is between my writing voice and my vocal voice. I sound dreary and depressing here, but in video and real life I seem quite the opposite. I suppose it's because I feel a forced pressure to be formal as to not be misunderstood. I only use words that I know, but to some I might seem a certain way regardless of what I say. Anyway, I can't help but feel useless. I don't accomplish anything that I set out to do unless I just happen to be properly motivated that particular day. It's a vicious cycle of wanting to do everything at once, or nothing at all.