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Excitement and Fears

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In about five hours I will have my first AB experience involving another person. I can't put into words how excited I am to finally be able to try it, especially with someone I know and trust. This is an opportunity I know most don't get even once in a lifetime and I understand just how fortunate I am to have it. We have talked a bit today and she has told me that she doesn't feel nervous yet but probably will as the time gets closer. I myself am incredibly nervous. Now I wouldn't say that I'm nervous because of the actual activity (even though that is part of it) but I'm instead afraid of how it will feel for me. Like I've said at the beginning of all this, these past few weeks have been my first taste of AB for me as I was strictly a DL for a long while. As such, I have some fears for the outcome of tonight.

My first bit of fear comes from something that I'm sure won't actually be a problem but is something I am very self conscious about. Without putting too many details, I have a... less then stellar reproductive organ. As I said this will most likely not be a problem at all but it is something I'm going to have to get over in order to be naked in front of her =P A bit more importantly I'm worried that I will not be able to get into the mindset. I've had many people say to me that once the moment comes it will probably fall into place and I believe that. The only reason I am apprehensive in believing it is that my mind races pretty much uncontrollably and I don't want my inner adult objecting too much. Also I fear that when all is said and done I will have found out that it was all for nothing; that I didn't enjoy it. I don't think this will be the case and if she were to get enjoyment out of it then that's enough for me since I get to be padded and changed etc. =P

All in all I guess I would say I'm feeling very ready, very excited, very nervous, and all-in-all interested to see how it turns out. I will let everyone know what happens (and she probably will too) either tonight when we are finished or tomorrow if I don't have the time.

Comments

  1. BenTennyson's Avatar
    I don't know if I already mentioned this in one of your threads before but fighting the nervousness before actually starting your session will help your mind to stop racing. You should listen to a relaxiation or hypnosis tape, following along the instructions. Its propably too late now to do any changes to the plans and I also don't know how much time both of you have reserved for all of this, but its worth a try.
    If not this time, you might try it later on. I found a particular tape very good. Its from a dominatrix/hypnosis expert called Arcadia, and was mentioned on Adisc already.
    http://www.adisc.org/forum/showthrea...hypnosis-files
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