by, 02-Jul-2015 at 03:40 (613 Views)
Well this week has been pretty busy. Camp really keeps you busy especially when you're part of a brand new area and teaching merit badges you haven't taught before! I finally had the chance to sit down while I wasn't completely exhausted to come and talk to you guys but I won't say that this is going to be 100% coherent so just be warned =P
In two days I will have my first meeting with my to-be mommy. Boy am I feeling the nerves. As it gets closer and closer I just keep thinking of things that could go wrong or how I'm going to feel when it actually comes time to strip naked in front of someone. Luckily those thoughts are replaced by the desire to experience this type of AB activity that I have been avoiding for so long. I truly am looking forward to having the opportunity to just go back to the basics and not worry about any of my obligations as a camp staff member, college student, son, or any of that. I assume that's what most people look for when they regress -- an escape. I can most definitely say that through the few activities I've done on my own I have felt very relaxed and calm and it was a great time to just let my head clear and forget about the stress of the world. I'm really looking forward to giving (nearly) complete control to someone else so that I can just sit there and color or watch a movie or drink from my bottle or whatever it is I'm doing right there, right then.
Despite all of the good I still have my concerns. The main concern I have is not with the actual occurrences of the meeting or even the meeting itself but rather how I will be during the meeting. Since I could remember my brain raced faster than my inner voice could even read my thoughts back to me, my inner voice read faster than I could write, and my hand cramped up even faster from trying to spew all those words onto a piece of paper. The reason I bring this up is because I'm nervous that my thoughts will not allow me to just let go when it actually happens with someone else there. I fear that I will be too focused on thinking about what could go wrong or how weird this is to others or anything similar that I won't be able to actually regress or have any meaningful baby time. Other than that singular issue though, I think I am all set to have a great time on Friday.
I will try to get another blog post up on Friday before the meeting itself so I can get the last-minute jitters out after I go to the store and pick up the final supplies. In any event, expect an interesting post that night or the next morning about how it went!