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12-the end of the 3rd act, the start of the 4th

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yesterday i turned thirty... feels a tad weird to say that.
today i trund thirty and i dont feel a day over well who am i kidding around these parts am i right.
I have had a real struggle trying to write of late, but i have it ....

So i went to my home town this weekend for a funeral. a few of us showed up to pay respects. And after we had a little gathering. it was pretty awesome , funeral aside. but i realized that I have changed so much in the last 2 years even that hanging with people from my home place was difficult at first. I realized immediately that i had been wearing a mask for most of the day. that i was hiding from them. its weird really, I guess I was so used too it while i lived there that it was default. but since i have spent so much time finding who i am going back to that place feels , well ,weird. i still care deeply for the people there and those good friends that i have. i love my family and hope that i can one day return the favor they did me in raising me . but the truth remains that i am different now, I am not at all the same person i was when i left. its nice but at the same time life is weird..

thank you guys for being here for me for the time i have spent growing, even if it was during the lurking times! and here is to the future and continuing to grow/ regress :P


  1. Trevor's Avatar
    Sorry for your loss. I think the feelings you were having aren't all that uncommon with other people when going back to see old friends, they just center around different things and a funeral isn't the nicest time to wrestle it all. As we discussed elsewhere, I've had some similar feelings but it's more of a mixed bag for me. I don't really feel like I was hiding from them, although now I am a little. I'm more social now as an ABDL and the reason for those other friendships is kept obscured.

    I'm still inclined to think it's just a matter of what aspects of ourselves we show to friends and these are typically based on what's suitable or might interest or engage them. The Trevor part of me doesn't get a lot of play with them because it's not relevant. It's all part of me but just appropriate times and places.

    Lastly, happy birthday - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.