What the heck am I into anyway? (the second-and-please-gods-the-last part)
by, 26-May-2015 at 01:20 (165 Views)
This one and one more and then I'm pretty sure I'm done for the night. And maybe even caught up for good. I'm not sure. Hope y'all don't mind!
I can't believe you came back! Welcome, welcome, take a seat! **WATCH** as the Amazing Marky defies pain and death to open his skull and expose his unnaturally smooth and unctuaously pulsating brain to the audience! **THRILL** at the depths to which one little-feeling big feller will plunge, all in the names of science and knowledge! **GASP** at the great and terrible horrors, the fanciful and delicate wonders, brought to light by this trepanning toddler!
Yes Marky's brain and thumbs, we get it...stop stalling...
Fine. Some conscious manifestations of subtextual division just don't have any flare for the dramatic. Sad, really.
In this post, I will tackle the question: "What are you curious about?" née "What are you into?" Why? Because it was posed to me last night and I don't feel I was able articulate my thoughts well. Or at all. "Duh," was, I believe the exact monosyllabic response. Or "Der". I can't be sure, and there is no video. So just drop it, ok?
So right here, for anybody who cares to see, I will explore my thoughts on the subject in (mostly) real time. Those in the front few rows, I hope you brought a tarp.
To begin, then. Personally, I find nothing wrong with the question: "What are you into?" it's simplify enough answered, it's cosmetic and quick and it doesn't require too much thought to. Just, in some people's cases, a big block of time to list it all. For instance, am into ageplay, and more specifically, I'm mainly an AB (Adult Baby, for the uninitiated) although I have a taste for pretty littles and their curious hearts and bodies. And I have festooned myself with all the clothes, accessories and supplies that can get on the open market, and can afford. I have a desire to be nurtured and cared for, doted upon and adored, by someone whom I could trust and love in return.
See? Easy, informative and not too wordy, especially considering the source.
"What are you curious about?", however, requires some brain grinding, especially if you're new, or at least newly public, to your kink, like I am. It's not exactly "Why?" but I can see the obvious parallels between the two. It's like dissecting the frog of your desires, as they say. Messy, but educational. Also? It can be a bit smelly, on a psychic level.
What I enjoy most about being an AB is the nurture aspect of it. In my imagination, chaotic puddle of acid-casualty cloud-cuckoo land that it is, Mommy is there for me whenever I need or desire her. She represents a constant presence, a helping hand, a teacher and a disciplinarian. It must have something to do with submission, but not in the typical (yeah, right!) [Naughty website self-censored for littler ears!]sense. When I'm little, and I mean really-in-my-head little, I feel helpless, or at least that's the goal. I have no choice *but* to submit, seeing as how Mommy is so overpowering that even being bratty isn't an effective ploy to disrupt. Mommy, like Darkseid of Marvel Comics fame, simply is.
I'm mostly curious about the interactions between bABy and Mommy. I detest seeing too much over-the-top baby talk in forums and such, especially when it's coupled with growdup sensibilities.
*"I fink da wepubwicans is wuining dis countwy!"
But, I think that in a one on one situation, or however big the family, it would be acceptable in very limited quantity for the little, and in horse-doctor's doses for the growdup(s). It's almost a humiliating experience to to me, to be talked down to in such a way. And that's as humiliating as I want to get, I think, since we're on the subject. I'm in it to be littled, not belittled, if you can grok that nonsense. I'm not saying it doesn't or won't have it's place in the dynamic of play, just that it's not something I am anticipating liking.
Same goes for spanking and other disciplinary measures as well, both corporal and otherwise. I don't intend to be bratty, at least not on the reg, so I don't feel like spanking will come into play much. I'm not into the physical stuff too much, but the truth is, as the submissive in the equation, who am I to say no to a little within-limits discipline. Just don't make it a focal point, ok Mommy? Just not my scene.
Sure, and there are other peripheral interests that swell in my head when I allow them to do so. For instance, I have a big nostalgic streak in me, and I feel that I would like very much to try out the 1950's household type of play. You know, Mommy in her flowery dress and apron, caring for bABy in the age of cloth diapers and (I feel that this is correct, but have no evidence to support it) questionable nurturing practices. And of course I have a love of the nursery experience, grown from the fertile soil that is/are the Intarwubs. I mean how cute are those adult sized cribs, high chairs and changing tables? What bABy wouldn't want to have access to such things? None, that's what. None bABies.
And that's as far as I'm willing to dig, at this juncture. I feel like I have a fantastic idea of what it is I want, what I don't and the difference between the two. Sure, I can explore more widely, and I'm sure I will. I look forward to continuing the conversation that started this meander of a post. But the people involved in that conversation are all on [Naughty website self-censored for littler ears!]so they'll probably (hopefully?) read this anyway.
As for the rest of you, I'll see you on the (metaphorical) field of battle. Gods speed in your own personal fight to grow and learn in a world that would rather you didn't, if it's all the same. Remember what Midnighter's father told him: "Hit the soft parts with your hands. For the hard ones, use a tool."