Had a mental breakdown again.....
by, 18-May-2015 at 08:30 (652 Views)
I just had a mental breakdown a hour ago, after shouting on top of my lungs, I feel tons better, way better then I did before I had the mental break down, I'm still a bit over the place though.
I feel like I'm losing mind, I feel like I'm losing control over my life, I'm surrounded by idiots who get cared about more then I do, they lack any form of IQ act like idiots, get praised like gods, while people like me, people disregard and don't care about (like seriously, I could fall over, no one would bat an eye, yet when someone pretends to get hurt just for attention, they get worshiped like some kind of god), its like I don't even exist, I'm sick of this constant sadness and realization that I'm limited and have no control over anything, things that happen happen, I haven't got much say over anything.
I'm sick of idiots getting treated like there some kind of genius, while people like me, can talk to you about multiple subjects, learn things faster then most people, have really good memory, and can learn and understand things almost instantly, while normal people would take a few minutes to process this information, I get disregarded as some kind of lair or some kind of stupid person, tell someone that the sky is blue, just because its me, they won't believe it, other people are always better then me, in the eyes of the social idiots.
I can't even get good grades because I'm so miserable about everything and hate my life, ahaha.
Stupid people see me as stupid, yet there the stupid ones, I just want to suck my paci, all this stress is going to kill me, I can't handle this crap.
I just want to break down and cry, but I can't cry, no tears will come out, bottling my emotions will just make things worse, though I have to, otherwise it causes more issues.
I guess intelligence is frowned apon, when I was younger, I always thought that being intelligence was the best thing in the world, yet in reality, no one cares about intelligence, no one cares about you unless your popular and social, if you're not in there social circle, its hard to get in, and you don't exist until you do.
I'm really sick of feeling suicidal and sad all the time, its either live in misery or kill myself, however I just can't do it, because i'm scared to, and its painful, can't even tell anyone because society is that stuffed, you can't even tell a close friend without someone assuming you're a attention seeker, yet people who fake depression, get treated nicely and get all the attention in the world, while those who suffer, no one cares about, it even makes me more depressed when people are faking it, and getting treated really nicely, while no one gives a crap about me.
I can't even think straight, the world is a horrible place, i see it as it truly is, nothing good ever happens to good people, terrible people get all the good things in the world, my intelligence is just going to waste, just because no one understands me.