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MandyBear

What Depression looks and feels like

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I wanted to share this, for myself and others who may be going through the same thing.
And for those that know someone who might be going through is as well.

"Depression is humiliating.
It turns intelligent, kind people into zombies who canít wash a dish or change their socks. It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything, to ascribe value to your children, your lifelong passions, your relative good fortune.

It scoops out your normal healthy ability to cope with bad days and bad news, and replaces it with an unrecognizable sludge that finds no pleasure, no delight, no point in anything outside of bed.

You alienate your friends because you canít comport yourself socially, you risk your job because you canít concentrate, you live in moderate squalor because you have no energy to stand up, let alone take out the garbage. You become pathetic and you know it. And you have no capacity to stop the downward plunge.

You have no perspective, no emotional reserves, no faith that it will get better. So you feel guilty and ashamed of your inability to deal with life like a regular human, which exacerbates the depression and the isolation.

You cannot imagine what it takes to feign normalcy, to show up to work, to make a dentist appointment, to pay bills, to walk your dog, to return library books on time, to keep enough toilet paper on hand, when you are exerting most of your capacity on trying not to kill yourself.

Itís not an incapacity to cope with day to day living in the modern world.
Itís an incapacity to function. At all. No one chooses it. No one deserves it.
It runs in families, it ruins families.

If youíve never been depressed, thank your lucky stars and back off the folks who take a pill so they can make eye contact with the grocery store cashier. No one on earth would choose the nightmare of depression over an averagely turbulent normal life.

If you and your loved ones have been spared, every blessing to you.
If depression has taken root in you or your loved ones, every blessing to you, too.

Depression is real. Just because youíve never had it doesnít make it imaginary. Compassion is also real. And a depressed person may cling desperately to it until they are out of the woods and they may remember your compassion for the rest of their lives as a force greater than their depression.

Have a heart. Judge not lest ye be judged"

*I did not write this, but found it amazing as it gives perspective to people.
I did clean it up a lil bit though and added line breaks to make it easier to read.

Comments

  1. egor's Avatar
    Very Good.

    I have not seen it summed up any better.

    The other one I would recommend is the "Big Black Dog" I do believe it is on You Tube.

    Egor
  2. gigglemuffinz's Avatar
    Thank you for sharing. Just from the first couple of lines I already found myself nodding along. I know these feelings very well.
  3. MandyBear's Avatar
    Thank You Egor and Gigglemuffinz

    When I first read it I immediately felt connected to whomever wrote it. I wanted to hug and thank them!
    I loved it because it puts what we are dealing with into words when we sometimes cannot.

    Plus its a bit of an eye opener for the outsiders looking in try to understand what our daily lives are like.
  4. KittyninjaW's Avatar
    Yes that is true, I like it.
  5. bean's Avatar
    This hit close to home.
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