Trying to get back into this site again
by, 18-Mar-2015 at 22:40 (592 Views)
I was decently active on here back in 2012/2013. I joined right after I found a love for diapers after already having a basically life long obsession with anything for babies and kids.
However, my last blog really reflects when I stopped posting for the most part and why. My boyfriend died very suddenly, and it really tore up my life. I'd dealt with death prior, my mom died when I was 11, and while don't get me wrong, it was horrible, having John (boyfriend) die just really messed with my head. It felt like I was living in a different, very dark, very empty world. I could literally be doing anything, related to the event or not, and I'd suddenly find myself paralyzed by the mental image of him dead. The first time it happened, I stopped breathing, called 911 thinking I was having a heart attack.
All of this kind of made me take a halt to anything else I'd been doing in my life prior, both online and not. By December of that year, I was basically dead set on killing myself. I won't make this blog horribly morbid in describing that in depth, but it was a very dark time in my life.
However, things got better, in the weirdest way. I'm still dealing with the pain, but I found something that gave my life meaning again. It was the craziest experience in my life, how something so seemingly bad could reap me such benefits. I was catfished online, then dumped by that very catfish for a bizarre reason, never heard from him again. But shortly after, I fell in love with his native language, just after looking into it because I was bored. I've studied it every day for a bit over a year, plan to move to the country that speaks it, and have put my all into using it while still living in the US. This language means the world to me in a way I cannot even describe.
I still can't believe it. Some dude posing as a hot woman who sent me fake photos, lied to me repeatedly, and then dumped me, ended up unintentionally leading me to what I'd consider the best gift of my life.
Ah, bless you, Omegle.
So. If anyone cared to read to the end of this, the person you probably don't remember finally feels back together and happy enough to pick up on a place I dropped!