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7YearsDog

Trying to get back into this site again

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I was decently active on here back in 2012/2013. I joined right after I found a love for diapers after already having a basically life long obsession with anything for babies and kids.

However, my last blog really reflects when I stopped posting for the most part and why. My boyfriend died very suddenly, and it really tore up my life. I'd dealt with death prior, my mom died when I was 11, and while don't get me wrong, it was horrible, having John (boyfriend) die just really messed with my head. It felt like I was living in a different, very dark, very empty world. I could literally be doing anything, related to the event or not, and I'd suddenly find myself paralyzed by the mental image of him dead. The first time it happened, I stopped breathing, called 911 thinking I was having a heart attack.

All of this kind of made me take a halt to anything else I'd been doing in my life prior, both online and not. By December of that year, I was basically dead set on killing myself. I won't make this blog horribly morbid in describing that in depth, but it was a very dark time in my life.

However, things got better, in the weirdest way. I'm still dealing with the pain, but I found something that gave my life meaning again. It was the craziest experience in my life, how something so seemingly bad could reap me such benefits. I was catfished online, then dumped by that very catfish for a bizarre reason, never heard from him again. But shortly after, I fell in love with his native language, just after looking into it because I was bored. I've studied it every day for a bit over a year, plan to move to the country that speaks it, and have put my all into using it while still living in the US. This language means the world to me in a way I cannot even describe.

I still can't believe it. Some dude posing as a hot woman who sent me fake photos, lied to me repeatedly, and then dumped me, ended up unintentionally leading me to what I'd consider the best gift of my life.

Ah, bless you, Omegle.

So. If anyone cared to read to the end of this, the person you probably don't remember finally feels back together and happy enough to pick up on a place I dropped!
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  1. Marka's Avatar
    That's been a hell of a run 7YearsDog!

    I hadn't recalled the term catfish, I think I got the gist of it though...

    Might I inquire about the new language that you're working on?

    I'm very sorry for your loss of John, I really hope that you have been getting some kind of help with the grief aspects...

    I'm really not sure how to say that I am glad that you are getting some kind of direction with your intended move to another country and all... and yet I'm concerned for you too... I suppose that part of my concern is to do with some of the more recent news blurbs about young folks heading to other countries to join rather infamous groups... yet, I would be equally concerned if I thought you were staying in the country, but joining a cult of some sort too...

    I hope that you'll forgive my speculative concerns... grief and trauma can really change one's perspectives on reality... some for the better, and some not so genuinely good...

    I concede that it may be necessary for you to turn everything you knew, up-side-down, and start over... I also know from my own experiences, that this has been a particularly vulnerable time for you... I truly hope that your vulnerabilities are not being exploited...

    I wish you good health, and a life remaining of vitality!

    Language, and cultures, and even geography... are all very interesting things... in spite of my attempts, I've only manged to retain mere fragments of other languages... Travel for me, is really no longer a feasible option...

    I do hope that you'll keep in touch with us throughout your journeys!

    Take care friend, my best to you,
    -Marka
  2. 7YearsDog's Avatar


    Quote Originally Posted by Marka
    That's been a hell of a run 7YearsDog!

    I hadn't recalled the term catfish, I think I got the gist of it though...

    Might I inquire about the new language that you're working on?

    I'm very sorry for your loss of John, I really hope that you have been getting some kind of help with the grief aspects...

    I'm really not sure how to say that I am glad that you are getting some kind of direction with your intended move to another country and all... and yet I'm concerned for you too... I suppose that part of my concern is to do with some of the more recent news blurbs about young folks heading to other countries to join rather infamous groups... yet, I would be equally concerned if I thought you were staying in the country, but joining a cult of some sort too...

    I hope that you'll forgive my speculative concerns... grief and trauma can really change one's perspectives on reality... some for the better, and some not so genuinely good...

    I concede that it may be necessary for you to turn everything you knew, up-side-down, and start over... I also know from my own experiences, that this has been a particularly vulnerable time for you... I truly hope that your vulnerabilities are not being exploited...

    I wish you good health, and a life remaining of vitality!

    Language, and cultures, and even geography... are all very interesting things... in spite of my attempts, I've only manged to retain mere fragments of other languages... Travel for me, is really no longer a feasible option...

    I do hope that you'll keep in touch with us throughout your journeys!

    Take care friend, my best to you,
    -Marka
    Thank you, Marka, for both your kindness towards my loss of John, and for replying to my blog here. I appreciate it.

    Sorry for my use of a bizarre term in describing the experience with the Omegle guy. I was simply trying to shorten it to a single word, and that was the only "proper" term I've ever heard before.

    As for the language I am learning, I have no problem sharing it with you, and in depth, too. I actually originally started going on about it more in my blog, but deleted it as I felt it was changing to a ramble about how much I loved the language, instead of my return to the website.

    It's Finnish! As far as I'm informed, this language has no relation to any infamous cults or ISIS (as I'm imagining you were referring to). I'm not sure how much you know about the language, but it's a very unique one. It's spoken by about 5.3 million people, and it isn't Indo-European like the rest of the Nordic languages. Its a Uralic language, its only close relative being Estonian, and more distantly Sami and Hungarian in that order. Its base vocabulary is nothing like English, and its grammar is extremely different. There are 15 different noun cases in it! It's truly a pain, but a labor of love, to remember their correct usage.

    You don't have to worry that anyone directly tried to influence me into learning this language for a bizarre reason, as I've yet to even make a single close Finnish friend yet. Though, I've spoken to many many random people on Finnish websites. Not even the guy who inspired me, in a sense, to take a look at it has the slightest clue I gained an interest. It's all been me, and me only, that pushes myself along through this.

    My move to Finland is going to be a long long process. I haven't wavered in studying over this last year (I started last March), but I'm going at least a year more before I even begin to take a true step. I've got a lot of options to consider, if I'll look for work or study first, where in Finland I want to live, how prepared for the YKI test I am (their citizenship language exam), and such. Right now, I'm intermediate at speaking it. I can say quite a lot and understand even more, but I've still much more to learn before I consider putting it to use beyond a vacation. Though, yes, I certainly plan to simply vacation there first and soon!

    Prior to this I've dappled in a few other languages. I studied Spanish, Japanese, and Zulu, but all for either a fraction of the time or effort. Finnish though, it speaks to me (in a metaphorical sense, I haven't gone mad). It feels like the language for me, if that makes any sense. I cannot describe the joy thinking in Finnish, chatting online in it, speaking to my pets in the language, reading a book in it, or even using my phone in it feels like. It draws me to the culture, too, as I feel language is an extension of such a thing (and, also, Finnish culture is simply fascinating). I would feel it an honor to one day call myself a Finn.

    Hopefully my detailed explanation there clears up any worries.
  3. Marka's Avatar
    Excellent 7YearsDog!

    Thank you for obliging my worries and not taking any apparent offense... I am relieved on all accounts!

    Perhaps at a later time I'll have a better opportunity to peer into the Finnish language and culture too...

    Now that things don't seem to me at all cryptic... I look forward to hearing about your progress overall too.

    Again, thank you!
    For now,

    -Marka
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