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to write or not to write

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Thinking about giving writing a shot at helping with my current state of depression, anger at the world, and thoughts of suicide. Because at this point...some things gotta work right?

Either way I need to do something quick. My best friend is moving away soon and they have helped me with my depression a lot so far.I fear that once they leave I will have no one to turn to again and last time that lead to me putting a rope around my neck.

I am afraid to go back to that place. Last time I had enough sense to reach out for help. This time I am finding it much harder to not only admit I am depressed but that I need help.

Anyway I got this commission a few days ago and loved it so much I wanted to write a story surrounding it. Don't know yet if I will post it here. Its going to probably suck and the people here are not exactly the best at going easy on the criticism.

On a final note I would like to offer an apology to those I offend. Lately I've had a very short fuse. I feel like I am losing control of my life and I tend to lose sight of the people around me.


  1. bean's Avatar
    I'm sorry that your bestie won't be as close by geographically anymore. That is always tough. I hope you can find ways to talk about what you are struggling with, so you can get better. If writing helps you to feel better, then I say go for it head long!

    That is a really cool piece of artwork. I agree that it looks like it has a quite a story behind it. I know I would like to hear it. If you don't feel like dealing with rude commenters, I'm sure there are folks here, including myself, who would be happy to follow your writing via PM.
  2. Starrunner's Avatar
    When in doubt...Write! This is probably a really good time to work on developing a new skill, and from what I've seen in your posts, you'll have no problem getting your point across. Writing can be very therapeutic and it can help you formulate your thoughts and put things in perspective.

    I'm sorry your friend is moving away. It's always hard to lose someone. I know it won't be the same but there is always scype and the internet so you can at least stay connected. Hopefully there can be some visits or vacations throughout the year.

    Also, don't, don't, don't be afraid to reach out for help. It's natural to feel sad about losing a friendship, but if you have fears about how this is going to turn out, I'd urge you to get in touch with a doctor or therapist as soon as possible. The further you fall into depression, the harder it is to work your way out of it. The fact that there has been a previous suicide attempt means you are a high risk, so don't minimize how you're feeling and act on it now. You said it yourself; you need to do something quick.

    Your profile states you're based in Colorado. Below is a link to the help lines in your area. My advice is to call one today. If the risk is immediate, I would urge you to get yourself checked into a hospital right away.

  3. boobybird89's Avatar
    Faux, I spent the past two years of my life out of control.. I know how it feels but you need to realize that even though its bad right now, things could always be worse. There's someone out there suffering worse than you and I imagine this move isn't easy for your friend either. And also like Starrunner mentioned, if things get worse if you think about seriously harming yourself you need to call the hotline or speak to a doctor or someone close to you. If you isolate yourself from the world, that will just make things so much worse..
  4. Maxx's Avatar
    Write. There's no law that says you have to publish it anywhere. It can still be satisfying and good practice. I had a good portion of Resurrection written and sitting on my hard drive for a couple of years before I decided to finish it and make it compliant with ADISC standards. I enjoyed writing it even without an audience. The discipline required to make a fetish story pg13 turned out to be a rewarding challenge. IMO, it made the story much better than it might have been otherwise.

    I think you'll find that the harshest criticism here is reserved for those who just spew words real time without knowing where the story is going. Have a plot in advance, and put some effort into proofreading, editing, and correcting your work BEFORE cutting and pasting here, your audience will be mostly appreciative. If you were to write a fur story, I probably wouldn't read much of it because the subject doesn't interest me, but I sure wouldn't criticize as long as the grammar and storyline were OK. Flinging words about diapers is relatively easy. Its the going back and making them all work together that's hard.

    P.S. For attitude and mood adjustment, I always recommend hard physical exercise and lots of it. Endorphins are magical. - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.