More about me.
by, 05-Mar-2015 at 19:27 (593 Views)
I know it isn't always healthy to look back, but I do like to see how far I've came in life and how much further I need to go to be exactly where I want. I kept my introduction topic fairly cut and dry and really didn't get into what I enjoy and where I have been up to joining this awesome community.
I was an internet radio DJ for about 7 years and was doing so until last month when I figured I earned a break. Not really seeing a return to the airwaves in the future because there are so many other things I want to focus on in my life and with my autism, I'm not always the best when it comes to an extra full plate in my life. I also am part of an online stock car racing league and have done that for almost 20 years now on and off. I don't run many races anymore but I do own a team of drivers there and paint several racing schemes a year as well for my own crew and for others who have a certain request of me.
Other things you may not know about me? I joined the furry community back in 1997, perhaps early 1998 but that was AGES ago. I was a fox named Tei and I had a best friend who I went to a few furry conventions with around that time, his name was Todd. He was an absolute sweet heart and my cuddle buddy, like my security blanket from the rest of the world that I was dealing with at the time (as a teenager, there IS a lot going on). I took a very long break from the community after I graduated high school and the real world and its dorky workforce sucked me in.
Another thing I don't often get a chance to go into but I will, is my sexuality. I've never felt like I was one of the guys and have felt this way since I was at least 7 years old. I remember trying on dresses and lipstick and makeup, my mom really didn't think much of it because lets face it.. I was just 7. My feminine feelings grew and grew as years went on and a lot of folks in Jr High noticed it. I got picked on tremendously because of it and because I was already low on the self-esteem train from abuse and bullying that was going on at home. When my fiance passed away in Jan 2008, is when I began to take drastic thoughts and measures with my transgender.. I filled out paperwork for a sex change twice but was never brave enough to file it and undergo the procedures. I figured at the time that I needed to give in to the urges that had been overpowering me for so many years (and so often they still overpower me) and that with my fiance gone, there was nothing to live for. I'm grateful that I didn't give in for that reason, because I have made so many new friends over the years and some of them have became very close and a part of my daily life and cannot imagine what I would of had in life if I had just quit and done the sex change operation. I love my feminine side and despite the ferocious urges from my hormones, I feel that I can express and be female even though on the outside I don't appear that way.
I've been a bedwetter for well over 10 years now but any of those that follow my posts are probably aware of my problem. I spent several years out of diapers due to health and financial issues but for the first time after only 5 days of wearing, I'm not having accidents because diapers are a way of telling me and my bladder that things are okay.. that I have a comfort in my life and something to catch me when I fail.
Sorry for the babble, I'll post more soon. Take care guys! :)