From this brief statement, it sounds as though our experiences were quite similar. I, too, have cerebral palsy; I, too, attended a special school where the physical therapy staff (not the teachers) diapered kids after accidents and frequently, if not habitually, made fun of them in the process. The pretext for this might have been to discourage further messing. In effect, I believe, this introduced a grey area of ambiguity that they should have been aware of--the correlation between humiliation and arousal in the pre-pubescent. I was terrified, but I was also aroused, particularly when I reflected on the experience afterward. And it became my first conscious awareness of sex. And since my disability prevented me from a normal awareness of sex, this abnormal introduction became pre-eminent in my life, especially as onanism gradually became my only mode of sexual expression. Among contemporary sexologists, Nancy Friday lifted the taboo on infantalism, and I am grateful to her for her tolerant attitude. I am almost shocked, however, to discover that infantalism is so prevelalent among the non-disabled. I would have said it is almost disabled people's sexual province.