Diapers for life?

[bobbravo2]

Hey all,

I'm 24 now, and have been wondering for a long time, will I have this diaper fetish for life?

I had a lot of shame about it from my family growing up (my brother outed me). They basically told me that I'd have an even harder time finding a partner who accepted me, because on top of a diaper fetish, I'm gay. As a result, I tried giving up diapers when I went to college (at 20) and lasted a month. At the end of that month, I was unable to rationalize why I shouldn't indulge my desires for diapers.

I have always felt that diapers were a sexual outlet that was safe for me, outside of committed relationships. I have a boyfriend now that is very open and accepting, and is trying to understand this fetish, and how it fits into our sex life. I used to be resistant to the idea that I'd ever give up diapers, now I'm not so sure: I'd be ok if my desires left me. He has asked me if this is something that is holding me back, and I cannot honestly say that it isn't.

One of the problems is that diapers/diaper fantasies are a very strong sexual stimulus for me. I get very turned on by those fantasies, and sex is second in terms of orgasmic potential. I'd love for sex to be #1 for me, because I'd like to be able to connect with another human being at a sexual level. The other problem is that fantasies are not based on reality, they are based on fiction, and I feel like I'm avoiding reality by withdrawing into fantasy for sex. Not that fantasy doesn't have its place, just not all the time.

How do I have a normal sex life without diapers?

[austin.db]

I dunno if there is a black and white answer to this question. I think it is different for everybody. You also asked a couple different questions.
Firstly, no, I don't believe the fetish will ever leave. As someone else wrote on the board, "puberty didn't make it go away, neither did college, I don't see why anything else will" (I believe it was in the context of having kids). So, I wouldn't hold your breath on hoping or trying to make it go away.

Now, you're second question: How do I have a normal sex life? For me, there is a big difference when I'm jackin' off and when I'm having sex with my gf. When I'm "by myself", I tend to lean towards thinking about diapers, etc, but when I'm with my gf, it honestly doesn't cross my mind. I'm stimulated enough by whatever is going on in front of me. Now, I was really worried about this before I started having sex. But I went in just focusing on what I had in front of me, not hoping or wishing for something more, and it turned out alright. I think sex can be different than getting aroused through diapers. They can be different if you want them to and if you keep them separate. I'm sure once they are combined, it might be hard to separate them again... I'd say if you want sex to be #1 in orgasmic potential, have a lot of good sex without diapers. That should fix that problem

[barkd74]

I guess it depends if diapers is an obsession or an outlet. If it is just an outlet you should have room for both in your life...

[Coops]

I think what you need to understand is that your partner (weather Man or Woman) may or may not want to be included in your diaper fantasies.

For myself, at a young age I had a girlfriend who I told about my diaper fetish. She was accepting, she'd let me diaper her, she would wet for me and all of that. BUT usually the diaper activity was aside from sex.

Usually we'd wear some diapers, I'd wet and she may or may not, then we shower and have a bunch of sex afterwards.

Years later, I'm in another relationship (just ver 3 years now) and she knows I wear diapers, she's fine with it but is not into wearing.

I've made the offer because she sometimes asks for curiosity's sake why I like them.

For me it's the feeling of both dry and wet, and the sexual stimulation. I will admit that I am very sexual (when I was like 12 I'd take my childhood blankie and tuck it into my underwear like a diaper and masturbate), I would say I do the hand deed almost every day now and I'm always fairly horny. Even thinking of having sex or diapers for me is cause enough to get an erection, and I'm 26!

You need to understand that there are just different ways of sexual pleasure. I'm sure your boyfriend does things that diapers don't.

Weather you ever stop wearing diapers will just be up to you. But you need to realise your boyfriend is a person who you can interact with in many more ways than you can with a diaper.

One thing is to not worry as much (sounds easy eh!?) You liek diapers, it's your private life and you're gay, it's your choice.

I hope maybe I've helped a bit, all the best!

[ShootsAndLeaves]

From what I've heard from any psychologist, is that paraphilic fetishes don't go away. It is wired in your brain. This should help you come to terms with it, because it is really not your fault. Just own it!

[Triscuit]

If you put it all into perspective here, you run the risk of tarnishing a partnership because of diapers. You owe it to yourself to form a natural bond with your boyfriend; not including your fetish.

Speaking from experience, I had been with my boyfriend for nearly three years when I told him! SURPRISE! He was completely weirded out by it at first, but now is expressing interest in perhaps exploring with me. The point is, is that we had just a personal, unselfish sexual bond before we introduced anything else into the picture. We've also agreed that he needs to explore his kinkier side/fantasies, too!

Sounds like you should try the same for right now. Don't make diapers such a focus; focus on what turns you on about him! If that doesn't help, then maybe a non-DL partner will be tough for you to be with.

Either way, I hope you can realize that compromise is the ultimate way to balance and happiness with a lover!

[Gingy]

I think that through will power, anything mental like that is attainable.
Im a TB, so I keep it seperate. I like it that way.
Im sorry you're not happy being a part of this *cry*

[dethpuck]

Don't worry about it. Be honest with your partner, and let him know your kink. Heck being gay might be a plus for two reasons. 1. being gay your partner is already kinda outside the norm. 2. This fetish and most fetishes are mostly made up of guys. There are a ton of gay dudes who love diapers out there for you. And others who would totally accept your kink. Listen to dan savage sometime man. He is amazing!

[bobbravo2]

I think sex can be different than getting aroused through diapers. They can be different if you want them to and if you keep them separate. I'm sure once they are combined, it might be hard to separate them again... I'd say if you want sex to be #1 in orgasmic potential, have a lot of good sex without diapers. That should fix that problem

I agree, and that's why I waited 2 months to tell him about it. Not long I know, but I wanted to make sure he was open to this part of myself, so I didn't end up with someone for 2 years that didn't accept me.

I think what you need to understand is that your partner (weather Man or Woman) may or may not want to be included in your diaper fantasies.


You need to understand that there are just different ways of sexual pleasure. I'm sure your boyfriend does things that diapers don't.

Weather you ever stop wearing diapers will just be up to you. But you need to realise your boyfriend is a person who you can interact with in many more ways than you can with a diaper.

good points - thank you. I definitely agree that he can do amazing things that an inanimate object could never, in a million years, do

If you put it all into perspective here, you run the risk of tarnishing a partnership because of diapers. You owe it to yourself to form a natural bond with your boyfriend; not including your fetish.

Speaking from experience, I had been with my boyfriend for nearly three years when I told him! SURPRISE! He was completely weirded out by it at first, but now is expressing interest in perhaps exploring with me. The point is, is that we had just a personal, unselfish sexual bond before we introduced anything else into the picture. We've also agreed that he needs to explore his kinkier side/fantasies, too!

Sounds like you should try the same for right now. Don't make diapers such a focus; focus on what turns you on about him! If that doesn't help, then maybe a non-DL partner will be tough for you to be with.

Either way, I hope you can realize that compromise is the ultimate way to balance and happiness with a lover!

Great words of wisdom - you said a lot of the things (and it was good for me to read them) that I have been thinking around. I totally agree about having a sexual bond that doesn't involve this fetish. And i feel very lucky, there are a LOT of things about him that turn me on.

I think that through will power, anything mental like that is attainable.
Im a TB, so I keep it seperate. I like it that way.
Im sorry you're not happy being a part of this *cry*

I am happy as a DL, I'm just doing my best to figure out a healthy, balanced way to live this life in a partnership with another human being


Thank you all for your replies, I heard exactly what I needed to.

1. Accept my fetish as a part of myself
2. Be patient with my partner
3. Have a healthy sex life without involving diapers